I Won't Walk Away
by l-Link-l
Summary: Chapter 12, the final chapter, is posted. Summary: What will happen when Grace and Eli are confronted with their feelings *finally* coming to the surface? COMPLETED.
1. I Won't Walk Away

(boring) Disclaimer: I own none of the characters (except Grace's friends. Oh, and the boys and gals I throw in- that's my secret shout out to my forum sistas). Don't sue, blah blah. *Please do not take any part or portion of my writing.* If you would like to ask me about it, contact me at taurusgirl1224@yahoo.com.  
  
This takes place just after 'Tough Love' and does not follow the events of the show after that. I live off of reviews so any kind of feedback is much needed and gladly welcomed.  
  
  
I Won't Walk Away  
***************  
  
  
  
Grace exhaled impatiently as she waited for her mother to come out to the car. Zoe was bouncing some rubber hand she had gotten from a coin machine in the back seat and Grace checked her watch again.  
  
*We'll be late for school if we don't leave right now*, she thought. As much as she disliked her first hour, she disliked being in trouble a little bit more. Her foot tapped on the floor board and she glared at the front door, willing her mother to come out of it. If she only had her own car...  
  
The garage door opened and her eyes were brought to who came from that door, instead. Eli exited, his guitar over his shoulder and she sighed angrily, looking away.  
  
The final performance was last night; he hadn't come. It hurt her more than she could have imagined. Mr.Dimitri had distracted her for the night and when Eli finally did show his face at the cast party, she happily snubbed him, returning the sentiment that he had shown her.  
  
But now, when the morning came, she found that she still felt the same as last night. She still hurt and she was still angry at him. He should not be let off so easily and she vowed to ignore him until her anger ceased. It was still going strong after a few hours.  
  
Eli saw the two of them waiting in Lily's car and he paused before heading over. He said through the window, as Grace looked away from him, "Do you want me to go get Lily?"  
  
He watched her pretend not to notice him and Eli's brow furrowed. Something was definitely wrong here. Zoe popped up between the front seats and he tore his eyes from Grace.  
  
"Yeah, can you get her?" Zoe asked and he nodded once, glancing back at Grace who had still not cast one look his way.  
  
Knowing they had to go on to school, he didn't press the matter but he made a mental note to ask her about it later. He knew he screwed up and she was probably upset with him for not showing at her play last night but he had weighed his options and the smart thing to do was not to be seen there. He felt extremely bad when he realized that she knew he hadn't been there and he wanted to apologize proper but she had been surrounded by her friends and cast mates all night. He would definitely say he was sorry tonight.  
  
Lily came out of the house in a mad rush just then and she waved to Eli who headed for his own car, going to practice with his band. She jumped into the car and exhaled, pulling out her keys.  
  
"Okay! Let's go."  
  
Grace suppressed the urge to roll her eyes at her mother and instead watched Eli walk away, soundlessly. It felt horrible to ignore him but he deserved it. She would not forgive him for what he made her feel last night.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
"I've got homework," Grace replied when Lily asked if she wanted to watch some documentary on the History channel with she and Rick. They had finished the dishes after dinner and the three girls were separating to do their own things. Eli had not shown up for dinner but that was not unusual.  
  
Lily nodded. "Okay."  
  
Grace whirled out of the kitchen to the hall and towards the stairway. The front door opened and Eli entered. She thought briefly that it was unusual for him to come in the front of the house when his room, the garage, was in the back and he used that entrance more often. *It doesn't matter*, she added mentally. *Who cares what he does?*  
  
She held the railing as she started up the stair and he saw her.  
  
"Grace," he called lightly and she ignored him, continuing up. Again, his brow furrowed with confusion and he shrugged off his coat, tossing it on the couch in the living room.  
  
She had disappeared by the time he reached the stairs but he went up, hurrying to her door and just before she could close it, his hand stopped it.  
  
"Grace, wait."  
  
"Would you let go of my door please?" she muttered in monotone as she pushed against his hand that held it open.  
  
"Okay, you're mad at me," he stated aloud. "Will you let me say I'm sorry at least?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Grace!"  
  
"What?" she snapped angrily. Tired of struggling with the door, she pulled it open quickly. He opened his mouth to speak but paused, noticing the sound of the TV downstairs, his father talking to Lily and the open hallway.  
  
"Can I just..." he asked then slid inside her room without invitation to which she gaped at. He guided the door closed so that there was silence.  
  
"What?" Grace said again.  
  
"Okay, look, I got fired and I haven't told my parents yet. My mom thinks I work at nights and she was there last night so I couldn't go in or she would have seen me. I mean my mom is bad enough as it is and I'm going to tell her but I couldn't have her see me there..." Eli explained but as he neared the end, it sounded weak even to him. Her angry glare had not changed and he couldn't blame her much. "I'm sorry, Grace. Seriously. I shouldn't have said I would come and then not show up."  
  
Grace's eyes fell to the floor, unable to stand under his penetratingly honest gaze. He meant it, she could tell. Unfortunately, that changed everything and she felt her anger at him seeping away.  
  
"I really wanted to be there. I heard you were great," he said quietly and she snickered to herself. If she was it was only because he made her great. Because of him, she had finally let her emotions out. He was the only one who could draw those things from her.  
  
She sighed at herself. Back where she started. Loving Eli.  
  
"Well, I have some homework to do." she murmured with resign.  
  
He had recognized when she had mentally forgiven him and his world turned back to normal. It felt off-kilter when she was mad at him and he had felt the imbalance all day. When he had parked in the driveway, he had decided to take the opportunity to go in the front door and avoid his dad and Lily probing him about why he would be looking for Grace. He went in the front, knowing he could probably slip upstairs, unnoticed, to her room. And he had and she had forgiven him.  
  
It seemed like Grace was the only one in the world who always accepted him just as he was. His parents thought he was a disappointment, Carla had abandoned him and his employers even thought he wasn't good enough to keep around. Grace had been the only one who always took him back.  
  
Eli smiled at that thought as she turned to her backpack on her bed.  
  
"Hey, we came up with a new song this afternoon and I'm still ironing it out. Do you want to come hear it?" he nodded in the general vicinity of the garage.  
  
Grace faced him with a small smile. He never invited anyone else in the house to hang out with him in his room and she was glad. It made her feel a little special. The book bag in her hand brought her thoughts back to the project she had to begin, though.  
  
"Well, I actually have to start this thing..." she replied with regret.  
  
"You can do it there." he insisted and she grinned, loving the fact that he was making excuses for her to come to his room.  
  
"Okay."  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Lily peered into the living room then turned to see Rick come into the kitchen.  
  
"Hey. Do you know where Grace is?" she asked.  
  
"Uh, no. I thought she was in there." he replied, much more interested in the refrigerator.  
  
"I haven't seen her for awhile." Lily murmured.  
  
"She's not in her room? What time is it?" he asked, pulling a sandwich out of the fridge.  
  
"No, she's not there. It's nearly eleven."  
  
Rick hummed with interest now. "And the girls haven't seen her?"  
  
Lily shook her head with her hands on her hips.  
  
"Have you asked Eli?" said Rick and a light bulb went on over her head. Lily walked out the backdoor towards the garage.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Grace jotted something down on the binder in her lap as she sat with her back against Eli's headboard on his bed. He collapsed next to her, his head falling to the pillow near her hips as he plucked a few notes on the guitar in his hands.  
  
"So you think it sucks?"  
  
"No, it's good." she disputed. "Who wrote the lyrics?"  
  
"Hayden," he looked up at her and the tone in his voice was laced with regret. "The lyrics suck, don't they?"  
  
Grace grinned with agreement but refused to criticize his music. He exhaled and plucked a few more notes out.  
  
"Hey, who was that guy at the party last night? The old one." he looked up at her again.  
  
"Who, Mr.Dimitri?" she said and he nodded. "I told you about him. He's the director."  
  
Eli made a face. "I don't like him."  
  
She snorted a little as she turned back to her book and paper.  
  
He went on, "He's too creepy. You guys are done with the play right?"  
  
"Yeah." she glanced towards him and he smiled at her a little silly and she shook her head at him. He was unusually happy.  
  
He used his legs to turn on the bed until she had to move her binder when his head settled on her own legs.  
  
"I am actually doing a report, you know," she joked. "Are you trying to make me fail English?"  
  
Eli plucked a few notes to 'Janie's Got A Gun' but with the alternate lyrics, "Gracie's failing English."  
  
She laughed and shoved his shoulder. He freed a hand from the guitar and pulled her arm forward, making her bend over and nearly fall on him. She screamed with surprise and he was suddenly tickling her sides which made her dissolve into fits of laughter.  
  
A hard knock came to the door and they froze before separating quickly.  
  
"Yeah?" Eli called.  
  
"Eli, it's Lily. Have you seen Grace?"  
  
  
  
... 


	2. Standing Still

The two scrambled off the bed as Grace gathered her book, binder and papers.  
  
"Yeah, she's doing her homework in here." he called back.  
  
"Can I come in?" Lily asked and Eli looked to Grace who had composed all of her papers. She went to the door and opened it, finding her mother there.  
  
"I was just going to sleep." she replied, coolly and walked past her. Lily nodded and glanced into the room before her, finding Eli standing without purpose, guitar over his shoulder.  
  
He smiled a little awkwardly then settled back to sit on the bed, pretending to practice chords as Lily shut the door.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
Grace grumbled as she watched one of her classmates giggle at a card she had received, at school. The bell dismissed them for the day and she hurried out.  
  
Valentine's Day. Quite possibly the worst holiday of all time. Sure, it was probably great if you had someone who actually *liked* you. How many years was this now, alone on Valentine's? Saying seventeen consecutive years alone seemed to fuel her depression, which was what she wanted. So what if the years 1-15 probably shouldn't count seeing that she was a baby. Why couldn't she be dating someone around February 14th?  
  
So all day she had watched girls with their little Love O Grams that the school sold and even a few with a flower or two. It all just depressed her.  
  
She gathered her things and headed for the bus. She was ready to go home, eat some dark chocolate and maybe watch Sliding Doors again.  
  
A horn wailed out and she didn't notice at first until it honked over and over again. Her brow furrowed as she, and a few others, glanced around for the car that was honking. She saw it then.  
  
Eli stopped honking when she finally found him pulled over next to the school sidewalk. It had been a few months since their fight and make up and life had returned pretty much to normal. As in, they spoke just a little and Eli went on with his life in the garage as she went back to her first priority, school. Everything returned to how it was- she admiring him from afar and he, oblivious to the attention.  
  
She walked over briskly to Eli's car and leaned down through the passenger side window.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Besides publicly embarrassing you?" he remarked and she glanced around at the looks they had gotten. But they weren't looking because he had been honking the horn, she realized. There were girls who knew her who were wondering who the guy picking her up in his car on Valentine's Day was.  
  
"Yeah, besides that." she said, facing him again.  
  
"Picking you up. I've got nothing to do today. What, would you rather ride the bus?"  
  
"No!" she quickly said and jumped in the car.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
Eli had informed her on their drive that he was hungry so he swung through a drive in and bought some food as she got a chocolate shake. Might as well start with the chocolate as soon as possible.  
  
He noticed some balloons with red and pink decorations on the side of the road next to some store's sign and he looked at it hard.  
  
"Is it Valentine's Day?" he asked as she struggled to suck the thick shake through the straw.  
  
Giving up the battle, she took the lid off. "Yeah. What are you, blind?"  
  
"I just don't pay attention." he shrugged.  
  
"Figures," she murmured before using the straw to scoop some shake up.  
  
"What does that mean?" Eli smirked.  
  
"It means guys never notice."  
  
"No, it's just that guys hate holidays like Valentine's." he disputed.  
  
"Girls do too!"  
  
"No, girls hate it when they don't get something. Guys hate it because they are *expected* to get things for girls. And it can't be just anything, it has to be the *right* thing."  
  
"It doesn't have to be the 'right' thing," Grace snorted mildly. "I'd settle for a flower and a card."  
  
He noticed she fell silent after that and he could tell she had had about as great of a day as he had. His boredom and self-loathing wasn't caused by Valentine's, though; he was simply growing tired of his life. He wanted to do something but he didn't know what or how. As he sat around his room, trying to find something to motivate him, his thoughts had strayed to Grace who always told him his music was good; who always said his band would make it. Maybe she would help him. So he jumped in his car and went to pick her up from school.  
  
But now he could see that she was saddened by the worthless holiday and it made him sigh. Why women let themselves be defined by a man in their lives still amazed him. Grace was still young, though. Hopefully she would grow out of it.  
  
He drove them home and she had sluggishly gotten something from the cupboard which looked suspiciously like a bag of sweets, then retreated to her room. Eli shook his head and left a note on the fridge that he would be back later in the evening.  
  
*  
  
*  
  
*  
  
Grace finished her journal entry about the terrible day she had predicted Valentine's would be as she laid on her bed. She shut it and slid the book into a drawer, sighing. A gentle knock came at her door and she weighed her options. Zoe never knocked like that so it was either Jessie, Rick or her mother. *Things couldn't get much worse*, she thought.  
  
"Come in."  
  
She glanced over her back and saw Eli's head peek in. Grace sat up and he came in, closing the door behind himself as she watched in confusion.  
  
"Close your eyes."  
  
"Why?" she suspiciously asked, too depressed to play games.  
  
"Come on," he demanded and she exhaled, shutting her eyes. She felt the bed dip as he took a seat next to her then said, "Okay."  
  
Grace opened her lids and her face fell in shock. He had one red rose and a red envelope extended out to her and he watched her expression eagerly. She slowly took the flower, examining it as though it were the most beautiful bud in the world.  
  
"And a card." he smiled, handing that to her as well. She was too in shock to look him in the eye for long. Her hand opened the envelope and the card came out. She silently read it.  
  
'This Valentine's Day you may be alone and you may feel like there is no one for you. But you should know that nobody likes you...' and opening the card to reveal, '...as much as me.' Then written, 'Love, Eli'.  
  
Grace wasn't sure if she was breathing or not. She certainly wasn't moving much. She did manage to close the card after a moment and look at him finally. He was smiling so casually at her that she realized he was just being nice, probably, and he was trying to cheer her up. He had no idea how well it worked.  
  
"Thank you." she got out, although quietly.  
  
"Flower and a card, right? See, guys notice." Eli grinned and she allowed herself a smile through the fog of shock.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Happy Valentine's," he said in passing as she gazed at her flower. He leaned forward to give her a peck on the cheek but suddenly she faced him and he found his lips had sought out hers.  
  
It was nearly accidental, but not *quite*.  
  
The split moment it happened, he knew he couldn't pretend it was an accident. He'd have to play it out. So he softly kissed her lips and the world slowed down.  
  
Eli felt a bit of his stomach seem to bottom out when they paused in the kiss. Suddenly he could see and feel everything. She smelled sweet, like vanilla and her lips were soft from some balm. He had the urge to touch her cheek, knowing it would be just as soft.  
  
She hadn't moved until her mouth gently rose to his the slightest bit and it felt like the most innocent welcoming. There was no thought to it, Eli could only feel her warm lips against his as his mouth slowly kissed her twice, three times.  
  
He pulled back and his mind came rushing forward in that instant. Their eyes opened at the same moment and held the others' unsure gaze. Eli's mouth started to move without sound until he gave up and stood, turning to walk away. Grace mutely watched him leave her room then exhaled when the door shut behind him. 


	3. Break Me

Much thanks for the feedback! :) I live off of it- I *breathe* it. The song inside this chapter is 'I'm Under Your Spell' from the Buffy, the Vampire Slayer Musical episode (the one sung by Tara). It's lovely and really fits perfectly for poor Grace.  
  
___________________________________________________________________  
  
  
Maybe Eli was magic, Grace pondered. Her head was propped up on her elbow as she lay on the stage in the theater. Her class was practicing skits they were to perform for a project and anyone who wanted extra time could come in after school. Most people were gone now and Grace was waiting for her mother to pick her up.  
  
But ever since Valentine's something changed. The bad part was, they avoided each other readily now and it was pretty awkward. She hated that. When they might accidentally bump in the kitchen, they retracted from the other as though burned. It upset her for the longest time. But the other side of the whole thing was two guys had begun liking her at school and her friend Theresa told her that one was going to ask her out. So maybe Eli had turned on some Attractive switch in her and suddenly guys were interested. It was possible.  
  
"I'm going!" Ann called from the theater entrance and Grace waved at her. It was late and she was the last one waiting for a ride.  
  
She moved to sit up so her legs were dangling from the front of the stage and she pulled her Algebra II homework into her lap. As she went through the equations on auto pilot her mind started to wander again. It was hard at first, seeing Eli awkwardly try to ignore her but he started to come into the house less and she rarely saw him. Now, she had been distracted by Mitchell and Trevor for the past two weeks since Valentine's and she hadn't let herself dwell on Eli. It wasn't fair to herself. Maybe it was an edge of maturity peeking through but she had gained something from Valentine's Day and it might just have been a bit of confidence.  
  
*  
*  
Lily pulled the truck to the curb and looked to the passenger next to her. "Do you think you can go get her? She's in the theater."  
  
Eli nodded reluctantly, never one to say no to someone who was putting him up in her house. He left the truck and took a breath as he headed for the school auditorium.  
  
It had been weird, to say the least, for the last two weeks. The day after he had, stupidly, *kissed* Grace. It seemed crazy just thinking it but he had been going over it again and again. He couldn't stop. He kept thinking about how it had felt with her lips against him and how if he had done anything else, he was pretty sure she would have let him.  
  
Eli shook himself mentally. Couldn't think about that. He had tried to not think about her at all but failed miserably. So he avoided her after the first few days of awkwardness. He only went in the house when he knew she wouldn't be home or ate dinner out with his friends. His dad had asked why he was distancing himself but he had assured him it was nothing to worry about; he just wanted to pretend he was out on his own and that didn't include hanging out in his parent's house.  
  
He sighed, knowing he couldn't avoid Grace forever. They really had to just talk and conclude that it was a small mistake. Mistakes happen all the time. He would tell her he was sorry and that would be it. Hopefully.  
  
*  
*  
The theater was deathly silent as she sat and worked on the math problems. She couldn't stand the quiet; it was too eerie. She hummed a little of a song that had been stuck in her head all day from a musical episode of one of her favorite TV shows. The humming led to her absently singing lightly, knowing she was alone.  
  
"I lived my life in shadow, never the sun on my face," she sang. "It didn't seem so sad, though, I figured that was my place."  
  
Her mind wandered back to the same person she always thought of when singing as she kept on working the algebra.   
  
Eli heard something from outside the door and he silently opened it, seeing her sitting on the stage, engrossed in homework, as she sang to herself.  
  
"Now I'm bathed in light... something just isn't right." she went on and he walked down the aisle of the auditorium, still unnoticed.  
  
"I'm under your spell. How else could it be anyone would notice me? It's magic I can tell. How you set me free, brought me out so easily."  
  
She paused as a problem momentarily stumped her and some movement grabbed her attention. Her face fell with embarrassment when she saw Eli in the middle of the aisle, his hands in his back pockets as he, apparently, listened to her sing.  
  
"God, how long have you been there?" she snapped, closing her binder.  
  
"Didn't want to interrupt you," he only half joked and she gave him a sarcastic smile.  
  
He waited as she gathered her things, stuffing them in the her bag, then started up the aisle.  
  
"Where's my mom?"  
  
"She's in the car; she had to pick me up too." he said. When she was next to him he stopped her gently, holding her arms. "Hang on a sec."  
  
Grace paused and looked at him curiously. He hadn't directly spoken to her since two weeks ago so it must have been something important he wanted to say.  
  
"Okay, we can't just tip-toe around each other till the end of time, right?" he started and her eyes fell with embarrassment. At least he was brave enough to say it. "So I think we should just say it was, you know, a little mistake and it was stupid so we can forget about it."  
  
She knew she should have looked him in the eye then to at least acknowledge he was right but her eyes stayed cast down. It was a silent sign which he immediately recognized. She didn't want to admit it was a 'mistake'.  
  
Eli stepped back and returned his hands safely to the back pockets of his jeans. She collected her wits quickly. She couldn't just stand there and confess how she felt for him.  
  
"Yeah, of course it was a mistake," she started to talk a little too quickly and shrug noncommittally. "I mean, it was just an accident and it's already forgotten."  
  
He nodded although he had seen in that second what she really thought. So maybe it wouldn't be so easy. But he didn't know what to do now. It was probably best to just ignore it like he had last year when he *almost* kissed her. But that time he hadn't actually touched her lips and tasted her so the memory wasn't burned into his brain like it was now. Still. He had to ignore it; it was the only thing to do.  
  
"Okay." he nodded and she smiled easily enough. She turned and he followed her out to Lily's car.  
  
*  
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*  
*  
  
"Mom, it's just a movie." Grace sighed as she made sure her purse was set to go for the night. Trevor had casually invited her out with a couple of his friends and she had said she would go. Why not? He was extremely cute and he asked her out specifically so she went for it.  
  
"It sounds like a date," Lily slyly replied, watching her daughter make last minute preparations. "He's picking you up to go see a movie then you're going out to eat afterwards?"  
  
"With a bunch of his friends!" she added.  
  
Lily shrugged, knowing if getting on her daughter's nerves was an Olympic event, she would proudly get the gold.  
  
They heard a noise and Rick came in from the hallway. "Waiting for your date?"  
  
Grace turned on her mother. "Do you honestly have to broadcast every little thing about my life? And it's not a date!"  
  
Rick smiled at her. He knew she was embarrassed at their meddling and he also knew Lily loved to meddle.  
  
Another sound came from the back of the house and Eli entered, shrugging his coat off, taking in the scene in the living room. Grace was near the exit and his dad was standing next to Lily who was smiling from the couch.  
  
"Are you hungry?" she asked. It was amazing how maternal she had become with him so easily. It was nice, though, and he appreciated her.  
  
"No, thanks. What's going on?"  
  
"Grace is just waiting for a ride." Lily replied, vaguely and Grace was relieved. If she had told Eli 'Grace is waiting for a date to pick her up', she was sure she would kill her mother.  
  
Even though things had gone back to as normal as they could be, Grace couldn't help still feeling something for Eli. He was like the holy grail- gorgeous, tempting and completely unattainable. So they would go on with their lives, now a month after The Kiss, but a piece of her would always want him.  
  
The front door received a knock and Grace whirled out, hurrying to answer it quickly. Trevor stood on the doorstep and she greeted him with a smile.  
  
"Hey," he smiled back. "Can I use your phone really fast? I have to tell Mike which theater we're going to."  
  
"Sure," she shrugged then remembered the others in the living room. "Um, it's going to be fast, right?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Grace inwardly sighed and let him enter. She started to lead him in the hall, toward the privacy of the kitchen phone but they had to pass the dreaded living room on the way. Trevor glanced in and saw the three people looking at him.  
  
"We've just got to use the phone real quick." Grace explained as she pulled his arm forward and they successfully got by. He was slightly confused but didn't ask as she let him use the phone.  
  
He called his friend and talked to him as Grace shifted from one foot to the other. She just wanted to get out of the house. The embarrassment was almost too much to stand.  
  
Trevor finished and they began to leave.  
  
"Hi!" Lily called suddenly when they appeared near the living room. Trevor stopped and Grace had to as well. He *was* driving.  
  
"Hi." he waved a little.  
  
"I'm Grace's mother. This is her step-dad and that's Eli, her step-brother." she went on and Grace hesitantly glanced at Eli who seemed to be inspecting Trevor none too lightly. "What movie are you going to go see?"  
  
"Just some action movie." Grace quickly answered.  
  
"And you guys will be back by...?" Rick led and her shoulders slumped a little.  
  
"Eleven." she said.  
  
"We're just going to hang out at Denny's for a while." Trevor assured her. Eli snorted with disbelief at that and the room seemed to turn to glance at him.  
  
"What?" said Grace, annoyed with his obvious disapproval.  
  
"Yeah, we used to say that too." he muttered.  
  
"What do you mean, E?" Rick asked, his brow now furrowed with concern.  
  
"I mean we didn't hang out at Denny's." he retorted and Grace's mouth fell. He could have been insinuating a number of things from sex to drugs. It was meant to look like they were covering for something else, though.  
  
Lily turned back to the two, suspicion in her eyes now and Grace looked to her.  
  
"We're going to Denny's, I swear. We're not like Eli." she snapped angrily.  
  
"What does that mean?" he snapped back.  
  
"What is your problem?" Grace had raised her voice.  
  
"Nothing. Go ahead and go out. I hope you have fun at the movies while you make out with your *boyfriend*." he sneered and she gaped at him in amazement.  
  
"Okay, okay," Rick held his hands up to stop the yelling. "Grace, go ahead."  
  
She angrily turned and led Trevor out as Eli went the opposite direction.  
  
"E!" Rick called and he hesitantly stopped. Rick approached him in the kitchen. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing! The guy just looked like a jerk, that's all."  
  
"No he didn't," Rick reasoned because, really, Trevor looked like any other teenage boy. "Is something going on?"  
  
Eli shook his head, knowing he'd have to ease his fathers concern somehow. A lie usually worked.  
  
"I just had a long day. Guess I took it out on whoever." he shrugged and Rick nodded. "I'm going to go practice."  
  
Rick watched Eli leave towards the garage and turned back to Lily who shrugged.  
  
*  
*  
*  
Grace sat up in bed with frustration. She had been tossing and turning for at least an hour. When she looked to the clock, she found it was 1:30am. She threw the covers off and decided a snack would help her insomnia. Either that or she could watch TV.  
  
Her 'date' had gone on a bit awkwardly with Trevor until they got with the group and everyone kind of chatted with their other friends. Truth was, it wasn't *anything* like a date except for the fact that they acknowledged that Trevor picked her up. And they did see a movie then just sit at Denny's for two hours. Then he dropped her off and that left her there, disappointed. He certainly didn't kiss her which wasn't surprising. He probably wouldn't ask her out again, either.  
  
She reached the kitchen, the silence of the house making it harder to shift through the cupboards in the dark without disturbing the quiet. Finding a box of crackers, she pulled it down then heard something. She glanced to her right and noticed it was the backdoor, slowly opening.  
  
She waited until Eli saw she was there, so she wouldn't scare him. He paused then lowered his eyes, almost embarrassed for his earlier behavior, as she went on with her business.  
  
"Grace-"  
  
"Shhh!"  
  
He looked at the dead quiet of the house then nodded out towards the door. She shook her head, crossing her arms over her tank top.  
  
"It's freezing out there," she whispered.  
  
"Then..." he motioned to the laundry area which had a separate door to enclose it. She sighed and followed him there until he closed the door.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"For what?"  
  
Eli paused. What was he sorry for? He knew that once again, he had been upset at the thought that she was mad at him. Why did he need her to not be angry with him so badly? He realized, then, that she was his rock. When everyone else rejected him, she always welcomed him at every turn. And when she was mad at him, he felt like the one, most important, grounded part of him was missing and he was drifting without an anchor.  
  
"I'm sorry for what I said," he replied.  
  
"Why?" she quizzed and he sighed, settling back against the wall.  
  
"Because it insulted you. And your *date*," he said the end with a bit of annoyance. "How did it go, by the way?"  
  
"Great," she lied.  
  
He nodded, noting the distinct feeling of anger when he thought of her out on a date with some random Gomer.  
  
"Well..." she reached for the door handle and he moved out of the way.  
  
"Hey, I'm applying for jobs tomorrow. I mean, I'm going for interviews," he said and she paused before opening the door.  
  
"That's great," she nodded.  
  
"Yeah, I have to get a job if before anything else, you know?" he shrugged.  
  
"Yeah," she quietly agreed.  
  
When the silence dragged on a little too long, she looked up at him finally but found something incredibly interesting. He had been gazing at her lips but met her eyes when she caught him. She unintentionally wet her now dry lips and realized the laundry room was rather small and he was only a foot away.  
  
Her heart was pounding and she was frozen in place. Maybe her gaze was relaying the need she felt growing in the pit of her stomach because he had, somehow, edged closer. She could almost feel his presence next to her and she wanted to slide her hands around his waist.  
  
Eli slowly leaned forward and she rose to meet him softly as their lips met again. His hand appeared at her cheek and slid along her jaw as his hot mouth kissed at her more and more. Grace felt a little lightheaded and her hands did come up to his waist to steady herself. His tongue delicately traced at her lower lip and she sighed, breathlessly. He smoothed in then and she opened to let his hot caress inside. She shivered when his tongue slid against hers and her legs began to shake a little.  
  
Grace felt backwards and she crumbled against the wall for support as Eli effortlessly followed her. Her arms came to rest around his shoulders to allow him closer. He eagerly took the welcome and she felt his hard body press against hers which caused her to clutch at him even tighter.  
  
He was kissing her so deeply and her arms urged him on, pulling him to her. Her tongue slid alongside his into his mouth and a soft groan escaped his throat. His arms were wrapped around her back, holding her securely to him and she was absolutely flying.  
  
They parted for a breath and her hand was absently at the back of his head as he looked at her lips now slightly puffy from use.  
  
"Grace," he murmured, meeting her eyes in the darkness. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have..."  
  
Her brow furrowed when she recognized what he was doing. He was going to back up, apologize and try to deny it all again. She couldn't let him.  
  
Grace pulled him forward and connected their lips once more and he immediately kissed her back. Her heart leapt and his hands slid up her back, holding her again.  
  
Eli's kisses slowed to a stop not long after and his head fell to stare at the floor, as though in surrender. He stepped back to part from her and her arms slid down his.  
  
"We should probably go to sleep," he said finally and she watched him with worry.  
  
"Eli..." she got out, not sure she could stand it if he went on tomorrow, ignoring her.  
  
He met her stare and smiled slightly. She let out a breath she didn't know that she had been holding and allowed herself a small smile. He slid up to her briefly, his hand brushing the hair from her brow as he kissed her lips softly once. She watched him smile at her again and he turned, heading back to his room.  
  
Grace slowly went back to her room in a daze and she toppled down onto her bed, staring blindly up at the ceiling. Who knew the most amazing night of her life would have been that one?  
  
She laughed to herself, then covered her mouth to contain the joyous bubbling that must have come straight from her heart.  
  
  
  
  
... 


	4. This Way

The only thing making me write more is your feedback. It's absolutely lovely! And don't worry, I have much, *much* more planned for these two beautiful babies. Imagine the show revolving around the duo and you're pretty close to what I'm thinking of. =) Also, if anyone is curious, the chapter titles are names of Jewel songs (mostly from her new CD, This Way). I have a thing with pairing music to my writing and this is what I'm listening to which happen to appropriately fit for each chapter. So here's the next part. Enjoy!  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
  
Even with a mere five hours of sleep, Grace was up and bouncing that morning. She got ready in record time and went down for breakfast, hoping that Eli would be up. He usually wasn't that early in the morning so she didn't expect him but she couldn't help wishing.  
  
Zoe and Jessie were pulling the cereal boxes out and Grace saw no sign of him. It brought her down a little bit but she dismissed it. She was too happy to let something tiny like that bring her down.  
  
"Good morning," she beamed at Zoe and Jessie who looked at her oddly.  
  
"Why are you so happy?" Zoe asked and Grace shrugged.  
  
"It's Wednesday." she joked and chuckled a little to herself. She filled a bowl with cereal and took a seat at the table as Zoe bounded off to retrieve her sweater and Jessie stood next to the counter, holding her bowl. The back door opened and Grace's head shot up as Eli entered the kitchen.  
  
"Hey," Jessie greeted and he nodded at her before seeing Grace at the table. He softly smiled a greeting and she couldn't stop the smile on her mouth but she turned back to her bowl of cereal, trying not to show how happy she was that he was there.  
  
Lily came into the kitchen seeing Eli searching the fridge and Jessie and Grace having breakfast.  
  
"What time is your first interview, Eli?" she asked.  
  
"Eight o'clock," he answered, pulling the orange juice out.  
  
"Well, good luck. Did you want me to make you something for breakfast?"  
  
He shook his head and took a drink from the carton.  
  
"Eli!" Jessie scolded. "Don't drink from the carton!"  
  
Grace suppressed a laugh as he remembered what he was doing. "Sorry," he apologized to Lily.  
  
"We have to go a little early today to drop Zoe off," Lily reported to the girls. Jessie was putting her bowl in the sink as Grace tried to ignore Eli who had sat at the table next to her with his carton of orange juice.  
  
"Grace, are you going to be ready in five minutes?" Lily asked as she started off to get her things and Grace nodded, her mouth with cereal in it still.  
  
She swallowed and Eli took the spoon from her hand. She watched in awe as he took a scoop from the bowl and engulfed as much as he could. He chewed a little as she continued to stare then said, behind a full mouth, "Can I have a bite?"  
  
"No." she remarked before giggling a little. Jessie left to get her bag, used to their mild flirting and not noticing them at all.  
  
Eli swallowed the bite and took a long drink from the orange juice but watched her sideways as he did.  
  
"What?" Grace nearly laughed at his blatant staring.  
  
He set the carton down then leaned in to share a secret.  
  
"You kiss kind of good."  
  
Her cheeks flushed and she looked away from his mischievous grin.  
  
"Shut up." she murmured, not believing him.  
  
"I'm serious," he replied but now more quiet and a little lower. Grace glanced over at him and the steady, penetrating look of his eyes made her stomach quiver.  
  
"E, you're going to be late!" Rick called from the living room and they instantly sat back, not realizing they had been slowly leaning toward the other.  
  
Eli snickered at himself and she gave him an embarrassed smile.  
  
"Okay, look- we're going to have a code now." he decided. "When I..." He looked over her then reached up and tugged lightly on her ear lobe. "When I do this, it's really... um... a kiss."  
  
"Are you serious?" she watched him hesitantly.  
  
"Yeah," he smiled.  
  
Lily came into the kitchen, jacket on and purse over shoulder. "Grace, you said you'd be ready!"  
  
"I am." she disputed.  
  
Rick walked through from the living room. "E, you should leave now to get there on time."  
  
"I'm going," he agreed and then stood. Grace felt him tug gently on her ear and say quietly, "See you later."  
  
She nodded with a grin and no one else in the room noticed that Eli had just given her a goodbye kiss.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
"Are you sure? It looks really interesting." Lily tried to tempt Grace to sit and watch the next Biography Channel program she had found. Grace wondered when she would realize that she *really* didn't care about the life of "Mr.Bojangles".  
  
"I'm fine. Really." Grace remarked as she headed for the exit of the living room. Eli stepped in from the dining room and Lily perked up.  
  
"Eli! Do you want to watch this biography with me and your dad?" she grinned hopefully as Eli's eyes shifted from his father, Lily and Grace, suspecting he had walked in the middle of something.  
  
"Uh, no thanks," he smirked and Lily deflated a little.  
  
"You're all depriving yourselves of learning something," she said as Eli glanced at Grace. He motioned with his eyes up the stairs and her brow furrowed in confusion. Lily was going on about how important it was to see other peoples' lives but Eli had pretended to scratch his temple and he pointed up, subtly again.  
  
Grace bit her lip to stop her smile and she announced, "I'm going to my room."  
  
"I'm going to just go use the bathroom real fast." Eli reported as well when Grace headed up the stairs and Lily and his father paid no mind.  
  
He was right behind her when she got to her door and she giggled as he slid into the room hastily, closing the door behind them. She was still laughing when he faced her, a grin on his face as he pushed forward, capturing her lips. Her arms embraced him happily, pulling him closer and his strong hands skimmed up her back.  
  
He had been waiting to do this all day. She had been at school, of course, then Ted had called him up telling him to come over so he had. When he finally got home he sought her out as soon as he could. Now, he felt like everything was sort of perfect with her arms wrapped around him.  
  
A hard knock on the door jolted them both apart and Grace covered her mouth to contain her nervous laughter.  
  
"Grace," Lily called in the door.  
  
"Shit," Eli puffed out as a laugh as well, finding himself trapped.  
  
"Hang on!" she answered her mother, grabbing Eli's sleeve and pointing at her closet.  
  
"I'm not getting in your closet!" he whispered.  
  
"Hide somewhere!"  
  
"What are you doing?" Lily asked, as she heard a bit of scrambling.  
  
"I'm... uh, changing. Hang on, I have to get decent," she stumbled. Eli snorted a small laugh and she smacked his arm.  
  
He edged over next to the door then nodded to open it. She gave a silent prayer and opened the door.  
  
Lily paused, looking at her clothes. "Weren't you just wearing that?"  
  
Grace froze. "yeah. I started to change but just threw this back on."  
  
Her mother shrugged the unimportant subject then went on. "I know you don't really want to watch some of the shows that me and Rick do but I wanted you to do something with us because we hardly see you anymore."  
  
Eli held his breath on the side of the door, hoping he couldn't be seen through the crack that connected the door to the wall.  
  
"Yeah. I'm just really busy with my... Algebra II right now. I mean, there's a lot of homework. So I'll try to start hanging out with you guys more but I can't, really, tonight."  
  
Lily nodded and touched her daughters cheek. "It's okay, sweetie. I know you're working hard."  
  
Grace gave her best innocent smile and Lily turned to leave as she started to close the door.  
  
"Oh, did you see Eli around? I thought he came up here," she added suddenly.  
  
"No! I mean, I don't know where he went."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Grace firmly closed the door and set her head on it. Eli grinned at her from the side and she gave him a wary smile. He stepped up to her, his hand sliding along her jaw as he drew her to him. He sank against the closed door and pulled her in, smoothing her soft body next to his.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
"No one has called back," Eli growled, sitting against the end of his bed on the floor. Grace laid on the bed near to him, her math homework before her and she looked up.  
  
"How long has it been?"  
  
"Almost two weeks." He strummed a chord then stopped and looked over at her. "Why does no one want to hire me?"  
  
She thought about that for a moment. Did he want the hard truth or the sugar coated version?  
  
"Okay, what did you wear to the interviews?"  
  
"To the offices, I wore a regular shirt and pants."  
  
"Not a T-shirt?"  
  
"No," he gave her a 'please, I'm not that stupid' look.  
  
"Well, what kinds of things did they ask you?"  
  
"Trick questions like, 'What's your worst quality?' " he snorted.  
  
"What did you say?"  
  
"I got stuck; I didn't know what to say. I think I stuttered out something like 'Insensitive'."  
  
Grace laughed a little and he scowled at her so she quieted herself. "Well, okay. What they want to hear is what you're going to do for them and how they'll benefit. For instance, you should have said your worst quality is you're a perfectionist. That means *they* get a really hard worker. You should think about what will make you look like the best candidate from the *company's* point of view without being overly obnoxious."  
  
Eli sighed, plucking at his guitar again. "I hate looking for work."  
  
"Let me fill out your next application," she said, going back to her math.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Well, at least I could show you how to do it good." she shrugged. He smiled and sat up to kiss her cheek, fondly.  
  
They had spent the last two weeks being as normal as they used to be in front of the others. Flirting a little but being careful not to do too much. She spent half of the time in his room after dinner doing her homework or listening to him play or even kissing him. Those were her favorite nights.  
  
Her mother was too busy worrying about Jessie who was having problems with one of her friends at school to notice where Grace was every other night. Grace was glad; it let her go on without any questions. She wasn't sure what she would tell her mother anyway.  
  
Eli played out the beginning of a song his band wrote. He liked having Grace with him; she always helped him when he needed it. He hadn't realized how aimless his life was until she came in and started to make a little order of it.  
  
"So what are you doing tomorrow?" she asked about the coming Friday night.  
  
"Me and Ben were going to a party these college kids are throwing," he said in passing then paused and looked back at her. "Did you want to go?"  
  
For a moment it stung because she thought they were getting somewhere from beyond where they had been. She had begun to believe that maybe they were actually, albeit secretly, dating. But he hadn't even considered taking her to that party and he was making Friday night plans with his friends like he always did.  
  
"No," she shook her head as casually as possible, not meeting his eyes.  
  
Eli turned forward again as he inattentively played. He didn't really want to go to the party, so why was he? And why would he hang out with Ben when he'd rather be with Grace?  
  
"Do you want to go to the movies instead?" he asked and she glanced up, watching him strum at the guitar.  
  
"Sure," she replied, keeping the smile to herself.  
  
They were quiet for a moment as she worked and he practiced a few chords that gave him trouble and she gazed over at his profile.  
  
She tugged on his ear and his brow furrowed.  
  
"What the hell are you doing *that* for?" he snapped and tossed his guitar aside, climbing on the bed and tackling her backwards. She laughed as he fumbled about before sweeping in to kiss at her mouth. Her arms came around his neck and he deepened the kiss, reveling in the time they now had to be alone.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
"I love this song!" Grace exclaimed as she turned up the radio and her friend Michelle gave her a suspicious look. They were waiting for their after-school club to gather and begin the meeting. Michelle recognized the love song and she shook her head.  
  
"Didn't you hate this song a month ago?"  
  
Grace shrugged, a smile firmly planted on her face.  
  
"Okay, seriously. Something is up and I'm tired of guessing. What is it?" Michelle directly asked and Grace's smile faded.  
  
She knew she couldn't *really* tell anyone anything about she and Eli. They had never discussed what was going to happen next. How would people react when she told them she was seeing him? Would he be embarrassed if he had to tell people? And what about their parents?  
  
She inwardly sighed, already saddened by the prospect of telling anyone.  
  
"What?" Michelle pressed and Grace shrugged.  
  
"Nothing," she dismissed. "Forget about it."  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Lily watched Grace head out the kitchen toward the backdoor.  
  
"Where are you going?" she asked, curiously.  
  
Grace paused. She had run through most of the excuses to go to Eli's room already in the past three weeks. 'Eli's going to help me with homework', 'I'm going to listen to his new song', 'I'm helping Eli with his work applications', 'I'm desperately in love with Eli and I can't go another minute without kissing him'. Well, maybe not that last one.  
  
"I was going to see what Eli's doing, that's all," she shrugged, wondering if she was a good enough actress to fool her mother.  
  
Lily nodded and she left the house. Grace came to his door and knocked their secret way.  
  
"Come in."  
  
She entered and found him sitting near his dresser as he set the cigarette of pot down. She shook her head and closed the door.  
  
"Hey," he smiled lazily, reaching a hand out for her. "I was wondering where you were."  
  
Grace took his hand and he drew her down to sit on his lap. He blew the smoke out to the side then kissed her. She drew back. "You taste bad. You need to brush your teeth."  
  
"What?" he laughed.  
  
"I'm not going to kiss you until you do," she stubbornly withheld the only thing she could bargain with.  
  
"You're going to make me brush my teeth while I'm high?" Eli chuckled at the idea.  
  
"Yeah," she smiled then added, "It might be fun."  
  
He sighed largely and guided her off of him as he went to the adjoining bathroom. Grace sat on his bed as she had countless times when she heard the sink turn on. She glanced at the pot sitting in the ash tray and remembered the first time she had tried it in his room only four months ago. She was so sure that he could see every feeling she had for him in her eyes that night. And she swore she saw something in his as well.  
  
'Do it for me,' he had said and that was all she needed. She was dying for him to kiss her then but it didn't happen.  
  
Her experience with the drug had only led her to the embarrassment of waking up the morning after, in his bed and apparently passed out like an amateur. She was not a fan.  
  
Eli came out of the bathroom and proudly displayed his teeth, tongue and mouth in an exaggerated demonstration. She smirked at him and he came over, crawling onto the bed, making her crab walk backwards as he settled down next to her. He edged up and kissed her then pulled back.  
  
"Better?"  
  
"Good like Colgate." she remarked and he laughed as they relaxed into the bed. His arm protectively draped across her waist, absently caressing the skin just under the edge of her shirt. She took the moment of silence to add, "Maybe you should quit."  
  
"Quit what?"  
  
"Smoking," she murmured as she touched his hand that was comfortably resting on her stomach.  
  
"Why?" he snickered.  
  
Grace shrugged. "I don't know. Because you can think of things you'd rather be doing?"  
  
Eli grinned up at her then and she realized how what she said was interpreted. She almost began to blush but he moved up and took her lips before she could be embarrassed.  
  
It was getting much easier. She used to flush at the mere idea of Eli, her holy grail, but now she was getting to know him so well that she didn't so much. He was afraid of the future, even if he didn't say it outright. He hated being pressured about it from his parents but knew that he wasn't certain of what to do so their concern was probably valid. He loved his music but was also constantly scared that it wasn't good enough.  
  
And he was, amazingly, kind of human. Before, she had seen Eli as some sort of deity who was untouchable and beautiful. Now, she had been pleasantly surprised to find that he wasn't. He said the wrong things sometimes and he wasn't perfect, by any means. It made her own insecurities not so bad when she found that he had his own.  
  
He was halfway on top of her as she slowed and he pulled back a little. "What?"  
  
"Nothing, I was just thinking about something."  
  
He waited then laughed a little. "Do I have to guess?"  
  
Grace sat up, finding she couldn't really talk seriously from underneath him. He rolled aside and she started. "It's just that Michelle was asking today about why I was, you know, in a good mood and I wanted to tell her, you know? But we haven't really talked about what we're going to do..."  
  
She trailed off because if there was one thing she was still insecure about, it was the status of their relationship. She didn't want to assume too much and scare him away but she also didn't want to be a doormat, letting him dictate whatever he felt like.  
  
Eli was looking at her with a confused face when she glanced back at him. It probably wasn't the best time to have a serious conversation with him.  
  
"What we're going to do?" he repeated.  
  
Then again, maybe it *was* the best time, she reconsidered. Eli opened up a little more than usual when he was high. She turned so she could face him.  
  
"Yeah, I mean with us. Are you going to tell people?"  
  
"What, now?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
He took a deep breath which she was sure he was using to try to clear his brain. He rubbed his eyes a little. "What do *you* want to tell people?"  
  
"Well, are we going to sneak around forever? That's all I want to know," she said, a bit annoyed that he hadn't really thought about it and that she was doing most of the hard work by sneaking out to his room. "Because it's getting a little harder."  
  
"Yeah," he agreed.  
  
Grace gazed at the sheets. "What do *you* want to do?"  
  
"I want to stay this way," he replied.  
  
"What, lying to our parents and sneaking around?"  
  
"No," Eli sat up so he was level with her. "I mean, just me and you. Who knows what will happen when we tell them."  
  
"They might split us up," she murmured then came to the worst case scenario. "They might kick you out."  
  
He rubbed his eye with the heel of his hand. "Yeah."  
  
They sat in the silence and she could see the issue begin to plague him; an additional worry compiled on top of his future, parents, career and life in general. She wanted to be his safe haven, not another problem.  
  
"It doesn't matter," she shrugged suddenly and he eyed her, curiously. "I mean, we'll figure it out later. Right now we can just stay... this way."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah," Grace nodded with a genuine smile.  
  
Eli's mouth formed a smile as he gazed at her. She seemed to surprise him time and time again without effort. He suddenly felt so grateful to have her.  
  
His hand reached up to her cheek when he leaned in and kissed her lips gently. He wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her neck as she hugged him to her, a small smile lighting her face.  
  
  
  
... 


	5. Love Me, Just Leave Me Alone

Many thanks for your encouraging words; I would never be so willing to go on if you guys weren't reading. Also, if anyone is reading spoilers for the upcoming OA episodes and knows what *kind* of job Eli gets coming up, could you drop me a note? I was going to write it in anyway but it would be nice to know. Thanks. ;) So here's what happens next...  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Lily climbed into the bed next to Rick who read the latest novel he was interested in. She silently smoothed on the last of her lotion over her arms and looked over at him.  
  
"Eli hasn't really been around much lately."  
  
Rick hummed, still reading and she nudged his arm.  
  
"What?" he asked, now looking up.  
  
"I said your son has been missing in action for the past few weeks." she remarked.  
  
"Oh. Yeah. He's trying to get out on his own more. What's wrong with that?" he said, turning back to the book.  
  
"Nothing. It's just, he didn't get any of those jobs he interviewed for and he hasn't really been doing anything except sit in the garage. I mean, he goes out with his friends but he should be doing something... I don't know... more productive. Even if it were auditioning or making demos."  
  
She stopped talking and noticed Rick was still reading.  
  
"You used to be very concerned about this, you know."  
  
He looked up. "Eli is an adult now and I've tried pushing him. It doesn't work."  
  
"So you're giving up?" she accused.  
  
"No. I'm giving him some room," he explained. "As much as Karen may hate it, our old tactics weren't very successful. I'm trying something new. Maybe he needs to figure himself out before we start telling him who he is."  
  
Lily made a slightly impressed face. "I guess we'll see how that works out."  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
"I got an A, actually," Jessie admitted after her father asked her about the math test she had been saying would give her trouble. Zoe, Jessie, Rick, Lily, Eli and Grace were all seated around the dinner table as they ate a meal together.  
  
"That's great, honey," Rick replied.  
  
She smiled a little with embarrassment but accepted the praise. Grace wasn't really listening. It was 'Dinner Talk' as she liked to call it. It was something that people only said when they were forced to sit at a table together and would never talk about regularly. For instance, Rick would never stop Grace in passing in the hallway to ask 'What's going on in your after school club?'.  
  
Grace was actually more interested in the foot that had begun edging up her ankle. She bit back a smile and cast a quick glance across the table as the side of Eli's mouth kicked up slightly then disappeared as he went on, pretending to casually eat dinner. They didn't eat dinner together much but when they did, they usually did this.  
  
She took a breath to control the grin that threatened to surface then returned the favor by stretching her legs out a bit and playing with his feet as well.  
  
Lily glanced at all of them eating quietly as Jessie and Rick finished their conversation about her math homework. She looked to Eli who had kept his head down during most of the dinner.  
  
"Eli, I was talking to this girl who works with me at the station," she started, getting his attention. "She was saying that she can't find any good guys out there."  
  
Grace froze, arm raised and fork in her mouth.  
  
"Oh yeah?" Eli casually responded as he felt Grace's feet pull away.  
  
Lily smiled. "Yeah, I told her all about you. She said she'd like to meet you."  
  
Eli was nodding but he wasn't sure why. This sounded bad.  
  
"You should meet her, E," Rick agreed.  
  
Very bad.  
  
Grace had gained her silent composure and was taking a much needed drink of water. Eli glanced between his father and Lily who were giving him that same *urging* look then he cast one glimpse at Grace. She wasn't looking at anyone; her eyes were down, staring at the table.  
  
"You know, I'm not really up for... seeing anyone," he stumbled out with a shrug.  
  
"Come on," Rick went on. "When was the last time you went out with a girl?"  
  
"Dad," Eli warned.  
  
"Seriously, E."  
  
"Maybe I'm gay," he shrugged.  
  
Grace snorted with laughter suddenly and covered her mouth. He smiled at her and Jessie laughed a bit as well.  
  
"E, what could it hurt?" Rick asked and Eli took a deep breath.  
  
"I don't want to. Isn't that enough?"  
  
"No," he answered simply.  
  
"It will be fun, Eli," Lily jumped in again. "Couldn't you just try it this once? She's a great girl. She's 20 years old and she loves music. You'll like her, I promise."  
  
Grace's smile had faded away when she realized her mother wasn't letting up. She looked to Eli who seemed to be thinking of some other way out.  
  
"Please," Lily added one more for good measure.  
  
Eli sighed and when he saw Lily pleading with him, he felt like he couldn't tell her no. He ate her cooking, stayed in her house rent free and she helped him at every turn. How could he not give her something, *anything* back? It wasn't like it would be a *real* date anyway. All he had to do was show up.  
  
"All right," he murmured and Lily beamed at him.  
  
"Great! I'll have her call you."  
  
"I have a lot of homework," Grace stood then, taking her plate. "May I be excused?"  
  
"Sure," Lily shrugged, not noticing half of the food still sat on Grace's plate.  
  
Eli wanted to say something but held his tongue as she fled the dining room, angrily.  
  
  
*  
*  
  
Eli glanced about, making sure his dad or Lily were not nearby as he headed for Grace's closed door. He knocked their secret knock and waited.  
  
"Who is it?" she tightly responded. Eli sighed, knowing she had recognized his knock but chose to ignore it.  
  
"It's me, can I come in?" he said into the door, trying to keep his voice down so he didn't gain attention.  
  
"Who?"  
  
He exhaled noisily with impatience. "Grace-"  
  
"I'm busy," she snapped.  
  
"Just let me come in for a second-"  
  
"Go away."  
  
"Grace!"  
  
Zoe appeared in her doorway as she opened it and peered down the hall at Eli. "What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing. I'm just..." he stopped then shook his head, knowing that Zoe probably wouldn't care or couldn't recognize what was really going on. He turned back to Grace's door, saying, "You're being irrational!"  
  
There was silence for a minute and he became afraid that he hurt her feelings. The door swung open suddenly and she was, on the contrary, fuming.  
  
" 'Irrational'?? You're going out on blind dates!" she reminded him.  
  
"It's not going to be a real date! And your mom asks me for *one* favor- I can't be an asshole and say 'no'."  
  
Grace opened her mouth to respond then noticed Zoe watching the show.  
  
"Get out of here!" she ordered. Zoe did as commanded and disappeared into her room as Grace turned back on him. "I can't believe you're going to do this."  
  
"I told you, it's not real. It's a stupid one night thing. I'll take her out to eat and that's it. It's nothing. You're overreacting."  
  
"Fine," she shrugged but her tone was still stern with anger.  
  
"What do you want me to-"  
  
Jessie came up the stairway and paused when she saw the two in the hall. She didn't say anything but her face conveyed the same 'what's going on?' question Zoe had asked.  
  
Grace exhaled heavily and grabbed her door, slamming it shut. Eli sighed then saw Jessie's expectant stare at him. He shook his head the universal 'Don't ask' gesture and walked past her.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Grace closed the cupboard door, finding nothing sweet enough to satisfy her. She needed something strong for this night.  
  
Eli's date was to take place that evening and he was in the garage, probably getting ready. He had to pick the girl up and then they were going out to eat.  
  
Grace had avoided him and ignored his attempts for the past week to reason with her about why he was taking some 20 year old secretary out on a date. Her name was 'Kylee' and she was, according her mother, 'energetic and lots of fun'. Grace really hated the name Kylee now.  
  
She checked the next shelf as Lily entered the kitchen.  
  
"What are you looking for?"  
  
"Something chocolate," she admitted. "Don't we keep that around anymore?"  
  
"We have a brownie mix if you want to make that." Lily noted and her daughter rolled her eyes. She wasn't in the baking mood.  
  
Upon closing the door, she wished she could slam it. She wanted to take out her anger on everything, anything. It wasn't fair and she was helpless.  
  
Lily didn't ask why she wanted chocolate which seemed unusual; her nose was usually firmly planted in her family's business. And anyone else's'.  
  
Grace glanced at her as she fished through the tool box. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Going to fix the door on my bathroom. Want to help?"  
  
"No, thanks."  
  
Lily nodded, knowing the answer before asking but thought she'd throw it out at any rate. She looked up at the clock on the wall. "I hope Eli has left; he's going to be late if he hasn't."  
  
Grace sadly gazed at the counter top until her mother spoke again.  
  
"Would you go check on him? Make sure he's gone?"  
  
"No," she firmly replied.  
  
"Gracie, it will take you two minutes!"  
  
"Can't."  
  
She escaped quickly, making a tactical decision to leave the chocolate behind in order to get out safely. Rick entered the front door and saw her heading up the stairs, presumably to her room.  
  
Lily came from the kitchen with a screwdriver and other miscellaneous tools in her hands.  
  
"Hey, did you see if Eli's car was still here when you pulled in?" she asked as he shrugged his coat off.  
  
"Yeah, he was leaving when I came in."  
  
Grace paused at her door when she heard Rick say Eli had left. Her expression deepened to a miserable frown before she softly closed the door behind herself.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Eli glanced over at the girl, Kylee, who set up for a putt. After dinner, she insisted they had to go play mini-golf because she had never been. She tapped the ball and it fell into the hole five inches away. She grinned and jumped triumphantly.  
  
"I did it!"  
  
"Not bad," he lied and she gave him a hesitant look.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Well, as long as this was your first time playing, yes it wasn't bad. Now, if you've been playing for years..." he trailed and she laughed a little.  
  
"Well, it was fun," she shrugged as they turned to leave.  
  
"Yeah," he said politely.  
  
Kylee smiled over at him. "We should go try that game room next!"  
  
"What, tonight?"  
  
"No, it's too late tonight," she reasoned. "Maybe next weekend?"  
  
They stopped at his car and he faced her."Actually, I can't really. I'm kind of... seeing someone right now..."  
  
"Oh my God, I'm sorry. Lily told me you were single."  
  
"Um, not really," he replied.  
  
"Why did you come out with me, then?" she wondered. Eli opened his mouth to answer but she did it for him. "Oh God. I was a favor, wasn't I?"  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Kylee sighed then shrugged an 'oh well'. "It's okay. At least I got to play Putt-Putt."  
  
Eli gave her a smile then unlocked the door so he could take her home.  
  
*  
*  
*  
The house was silent when he crept in the back at eleven thirty. He had dropped Kylee off an hour ago but didn't want to face his dad and Lily right away to answer questions so he drove around, wasted time at a record store then slowly headed home.  
  
The lights were out but his eyes adjusted and he was able to walk around easily enough. The date seemed to have gone on and on even though he tried his hardest to be polite. In the end, it felt really good to tell someone he was seeing Grace, even if he didn't use her name specifically. It was nice to say, out loud, that he was dating her.  
  
Eli tip-toed up the stairway, careful that the shifting of his clothes made little noise. The whole date just made him want to be with Grace more. Other girls didn't understand him, he knew that now. They usually thought of him as some tortured, edgy musician. But Grace knew him; she knew his fears and his doubts. And she accepted all of it and saw just who he really was.  
  
He came to the closed door that was hers then lightly knocked their code with one knuckle. She wouldn't be asleep. He knew her as well, and he knew that this "date" upset her more than anyone. She would be awake.  
  
Eli waited for her to say something, to open the door or whisper a response. He leaned into the door in a push up position then set his forehead against it tiredly. She was ignoring him. She was still mad and she was purposely tormenting him. Or maybe she *was* asleep...  
  
He sighed and quietly left the door in silence.  
  
Grace stared at the sheet next to her pillow as she lay, still. She heard him at her door but kept mute. He finally moved away and she exhaled, determined not to let the tears that had plagued her all night return. She took a deep breath and shut out the world, closing her eyes and willing sleep to come.  
  
  
  
... 


	6. Deep Water

Thank you, guys, for your continued reading. I look forward to seeing what you have to say after every chapter! I've gotten a couple of 'Is this the last chapter?' questions and let me tell you first off: I would never do that to you guys! I would never leave it unfinished. And as long as you see the ellipses (...) at the end of the chapter, you know there's another chapter right behind it. I'm just afraid FanFiction.net might cut me off because I've got a lot of writing to do. =) So here's what happened next...  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Grace opened her eyes and stared at the image reflected in the mirror of the girls' bathroom. What could Eli want with her, really? She was two years younger and still in high school, for crying out loud. He was an adult (legally, at least), dating 20-year-old women while she was still in school and still feeling like a child to the world.  
  
"Are you coming?" Ann saw her friend staring at herself in the mirror.  
  
"Yeah," she murmured. Eli had not woken up when they got up for school that morning after his date so she hadn't seen him yet. She wasn't sure she wanted to. She wasn't even mad at him, so much anymore, but mad at the world. At their circumstances and how deficient she felt in comparison to some leggy 20 year old secretary.  
  
"What's your sign, again?" Sara asked as she leafed through her new Little Giant Encyclopedia of the Zodiac and they headed down the hall for their last hour of class.  
  
"Taurus," she muttered, unenthusiastically.  
  
"Okay. It says you're Dependable (which offers enduring loyalty), Artistic, Shy, Very Loving and Gentle. But you're also Stubborn, Materialistic, Easily embarrassed and you Delay action by lengthy pondering."  
  
Grace glared at her. "Did you just make that up?"  
  
"No!" Ann laughed, handing the book over and Grace read over it quickly.  
  
"whatever," she muttered angrily, giving the book back.  
  
"You stubborn Taureans can't face the facts," Ann teased. "So what's up? You've been down for, like, a week."  
  
"Not much. The world sucks." Grace replied.  
  
"Yeah, it does," Ann agreed. "But, I was talking to Mitch yesterday and I think he still likes you, he just doesn't want to admit it because you blew him off."  
  
"I didn't blow him off. I was just... preoccupied," she shrugged.  
  
"That's great but who's going to take you to Junior Prom?"  
  
Grace froze in the hallway and Ann looked back at her. "Prom?"  
  
"You forgot about Prom? Geez. Earth called, they'd like you to return." Ann remarked.  
  
"It's in two weeks," Grace thought aloud.  
  
"Yep. Trevor is already going with Gwen. Mitch is your best bet."  
  
"great," Grace muttered and the bell rung so they hurried on.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Eli entered the kitchen from the back and saw no one about. It was past four, everyone was supposed to be home from school by now. He had spent the day thinking about the situation. Should he be mad at Grace for overreacting? Or should he just admit that her own insecurities and low self-esteem probably caused her to act out? That didn't necessarily give her the right to be so unreasonable but he acknowledged the fact that he hated when they fought and he wanted it to just end. If that meant saying 'I'm sorry' for a stupid blind date, then he would do it.  
  
The house was silent as he went on through the living room. He glanced at a pile of papers, wondering if he got any mail, as he picked them up. But it wasn't mail, he found. It was a stack of college brochures and applications. His brow furrowed as he looked through the dozen or so and Jessie came from downstairs.  
  
"Hey," she greeted.  
  
"Hey Jess, are these yours?"  
  
"No, they're Grace's," she answered as though it were obvious.  
  
"But these are all on the other side of the country," he realized out loud and Jessie shrugged.  
  
"I guess she wants to move away."  
  
Jessie moved on and Eli set the forms down and retreated back out to his room.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
"Is Eli coming to eat?" Lily asked Rick as they set the table. Grace's ear pricked up. She wasn't sure if she could sit across from him, wondering what happened on his date. Did he like that girl, even a little? Did dating someone else make him wonder about his other options as Grace was afraid he would? Did he kiss that girl goodnight?  
  
"No, he was going out," Rick answered and she breathed a silent sigh of relief. She hated fighting with him but how would he feel if *she* went out on dates with other guys?  
  
Grace plopped into the chair across from Zoe as they all came to sit around the table. The idle chatter began as she picked at her food, only half awake. Her mind was off and wandering again. Why would he want her if he could date someone like "Kylee", *whoever* she was.  
  
Her attention came back to the table when her mother spoke to Rick.  
  
"You know, Eli said he didn't really hit it off with Kylee last night but she told me today that he told her he was seeing someone," Lily said and Rick's brow furrowed. "Have you seen him with anyone but he just hasn't said anything?"  
  
Grace thought she just might keel over and die. Number one, her and Eli's relationship had suddenly come center stage at the dinner table and number two, he had told his date last night that he was 'seeing someone'. It was horrifying and glorious at the same moment.  
  
"No, I don't know anything," Rick shrugged and looked to the rest of them. "Do you guys know if Eli is dating someone?"  
  
Grace shook her head adamantly but toned it down. *Don't be too obvious.*  
  
Jessie and Zoe shrugged as well.  
  
"Maybe that's why he didn't want to go out on the date," Lily added. "Because he's already seeing someone else that we just don't know about."  
  
Grace thought for a moment. Maybe this was good... maybe they wouldn't set him up anymore if they thought was he dating some mystery girl out there. Maybe this was a very good thing.  
  
"I'll ask him about it," Rick said then.  
  
Or not.  
  
"No, don't ask him," Lily reasoned and Grace suddenly appreciated her mother more than ever. "Maybe he's not ready to tell anyone. Maybe it's serious. We'll just wait for him to say something about it."  
  
"Yeah, *that* will work," Rick snorted, knowing Lily wasn't the type to sit back and wait for someone to come confess to her. She was the type to go in and get the scoop.  
  
Lily gave him a sarcastic smile. She could always help Eli along in revealing any secret girlfriend if he really had one. She was a master at getting things, subtly, out of people.  
  
They all went back to eating and Grace returned to her thoughts, now adding on the new information. He hadn't liked the date *and* he had told "Kylee" that he was seeing her! She should have known, really. He'd insisted to her for a week that it was a favor but she had, stubbornly, not listened. Now, there was her proof. And he had even told someone that they were dating!  
  
Grace felt bad suddenly and realized that she should tell him she was sorry. She vowed to go see him as soon as he got home.  
  
*  
*  
  
Grace paused at the garage door entrance. She hadn't heard the car come into the drive but she asked Rick and he said he had come home half an hour ago. She snuck outside successfully and stopped at his door. She took a breath then knocked their secret knock.  
  
"Who is it?" Eli said from inside and she rolled her eyes.  
  
"It's Grace."  
  
There was a silence and she heard, "Yeah, come in."  
  
He was tossing things into his closet; shoes, books and other items laying around. "What is it?"  
  
"I just wanted to talk to you."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"I heard it didn't go good last night?"  
  
Eli stopped with a heavy exhale, giving her an annoyed look.  
  
"Sorry," she nearly sarcastically replied. "I wanted to say sorry."  
  
"For what?" he said but kept on putting things away, organizing the room. It reminded her of his apology to her in the laundry room the night they first really kissed. She had quizzed him the same way and she was getting it back now. Still, he *did* go out on a date and she had a good reason to be mad. She hadn't done anything wrong when he had apologized to her then. She didn't particularly feel like groveling to him when he had been in the wrong as well.  
  
She shook her head then turned away. "Never mind."  
  
"You know, you could have just trusted me. I mean, I thought we told each other the truth and I've never given you any reason not to trust me."  
  
"I'm sorry, okay? But I'm not the only one who was wrong."  
  
"So I was wrong for doing your mother a favor. Okay," he sarcastically nodded.  
  
"Can we just forget about it?"  
  
"Fine."  
  
They were standing in silence and it felt like nothing had been resolved.  
  
Grace added, "And could you stop dating skanky secretaries?"  
  
Eli shook his head, knowing they weren't finished. "Hey, I'm not the one planning on moving away as soon as humanly possible, okay? So don't talk to me about dating people. I'm not the one trying to get out!"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"You're looking at colleges all out of state," he replied angrily. "So you're already planning on taking off?"  
  
"That is in, like, a *year* and I'm just looking at all good colleges. It doesn't matter where they are."  
  
"Yeah, I guess it doesn't matter where I am either," he muttered.  
  
"I didn't say that!"  
  
"You didn't have to *say* it!" he exclaimed and she paused, wanting to cool off and slow them down before she went on.  
  
"I've had those brochures for two months. We've only been going out for one month. I didn't get them after we started going out, thinking that I'd be moving away," she explained and he calmed. A silence came through the room and she murmured, "I can barely see myself out of the same room as you, let alone out of *state*."  
  
Eli exhaled as she stared at the ground. He could see it had been hard for her to admit so much to him. He moved next to her, sliding his hand across her cheek and drawing her near. Her hands reached around him slowly as she edged next to him and his lips softly touched her temple.  
  
A voice broke the silence in the room suddenly.  
  
"Oh my God. You guys are going out??"  
  
Their heads whipped to the doorway to see the uninvited guest and Grace instantly yelled at her.  
  
"Zoe!"  
  
  
  
  
... 


	7. Absence of Fear

You have no idea how much your feedback means to me! =) I wouldn't go on (writing!) if you guys weren't out there. The title is from Jewel's second album (which isn't great but if you have Morpheus or another song swapping program, it's nice to have this song and 'What's Simple Is True' on hand). It would be *very* handy to listen to this song ('Absence of Fear') during the last section. ) That's my evil grin for you guys. ;) So, here's where it goes...  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
"I can't believe it!" Zoe replied in awe, unfazed by her sister's scream.  
  
The two had parted and Grace looked, helplessly, to Eli who was just as speechless.  
  
"okay," he murmured then went to the door and closed it behind the girl. "okay. Okay. Okay..."  
  
"Eli," Grace stated to bring him out of his daze and he met her eyes. She gave him a 'What are we going to do?' look as Zoe turned, looking from one to the other.  
  
"Do you guys kiss and stuff?" Zoe grinned and Grace stared at Eli in amazement.  
  
"Okay, Zoe," Eli pulled her aside and sat on his bed, settling her next to him. "You have to keep a big secret for us-"  
  
"She'll never keep it!" Grace groaned. "Oh God, this is it."  
  
"I can keep a secret!" Zoe argued. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone you guys are going out. You probably *do* kiss, don't you?"  
  
"I will kill you," Grace promised.  
  
"Grace," Eli stopped the wrath of her sister and faced Zoe again. "It's the most important secret in the world, Zoe. And you are the only one we're letting in on it."  
  
Zoe's eyes glanced off as she considered that. The *only* one who knew? That sort of made her special.  
  
She smiled sideways at Eli. "Do you love Grace?"  
  
"Oh my God," Grace snapped.  
  
"Zoe," Eli laughed a little. "Yeah, me and Grace are really close so you have to keep this a secret. You can't tell *anyone* in the house, or your dad or any of your friends. *No* one. Will you promise me?"  
  
Zoe watched him give her that smile again and she grinned in response.  
  
Grace watched in wonder. She couldn't make her sister set the toothpaste on the sink instead of the counter and he just got her to agree to keep this gigantic secret without any problems. *He does have a way with that smile, though*, she admitted.  
  
Zoe had nodded and shook Eli's hand before she started off.  
  
"Remember..." he called and she stopped with the knob in hand.  
  
"I'm the *only* one that knows," Zoe proudly announced and he nodded with a smile.  
  
The door shut and Eli sighed a little. "Maybe it'll be all right..."  
  
Grace dropped into the chair at his desk, heavily. She didn't have an answer for him and their future was suddenly so much more uncertain.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
"Jessie, do you need anything from the store?" Lily called from the foyer. Grace glanced over her shoulder at her. She sat on the couch next to Eli who was flipping the channels far too quickly for her to see what was on that Saturday afternoon.  
  
Jessie came down the stairs. "No, thanks. My mom is coming by to pick me up; we're going dress shopping."  
  
"Dress shopping?" Lily became instantly interested as Grace and Eli listened in.  
  
"Yeah, I got invited to Junior Prom," Jessie hesitantly answered.  
  
"Junior Prom?" Lily repeated then called into the living room. "Grace, are you planning on going to the Prom?"  
  
"That would require a DATE with a *guy*," she remarked and turned to give Eli a look. He responded silently with a 'Yeah, I get it' expression at her reference to them dating other people. Lily stepped into the living room.  
  
"Oh, has no one asked you?" she cautiously said and Grace sighed.  
  
It was true, technically, no one had asked her but she probably could have gotten two invites if she hadn't snubbed Trevor and Mitch. It was all right, though; she would rather be with Eli than have a stupid awkward date to a dance.  
  
"No, no one asked me."  
  
"Oh," Lily frowned, watching her daughter act as though it didn't bother her. It must have, though, with Jessie going on dates and to dances while she sat at home just hanging around with Eli.  
  
A light bulb seemed to shine above her head. "Maybe Eli could take you."  
  
Eli suddenly found this seriously funny and started laughing. Maybe it was the fact that he *was* dating Grace and all of the sudden Lily was volunteering him to take her out on a date, in public, while they had spent the last month avoiding any public displays of couple hood. The irony of it all simply made him laugh.  
  
Lily, who felt like she was missing out on some great joke, asked, "What?"  
  
Grace turned on him giving him a scathing look. She believed he laughed because the thought of taking her to the Prom was ridiculous. He quieted himself and shook his head as a 'Forget about it' motion and Grace answered her mother, "I don't think so."  
  
"Yeah, Eli probably would be uncomfortable at a high school dance," Lily agreed and they fell into an uncomfortable silence. "Okay, I'm going to the store."  
  
There was a honk and Jessie grabbed her purse, going out to her mother as Lily left. Zoe had spent the night at a friend's and Rick was at work so the house plunged into silence, save the television, when they left.  
  
Grace pushed off the couch and walked over Eli's legs that were propped up on the table. He watched her and said, "You don't really want me to go to that dance, do you?"  
  
"No," she shrugged and went to the kitchen for a drink.  
  
The truth was, she had never even let herself consider *Eli* taking her to the Prom because it would be too much of a hint to their families but once her mother suggested it, it was more like another one of Eli's Dating Favors. As though he would be taking out another single gal because she had no one else. That changed everything. He *could* take her then but he didn't want to because it was a little high school dance. This all made her start to wonder again, if they came out, would he really be embarrassed that she was in high school? She couldn't wait for this school year to end so she would finally be a Senior.  
  
Eli came into the kitchen and leaned against the island in the middle. "I thought you wanted to skip that dance anyway."  
  
"I do," she assured him with a shrug. There was no use fighting about it. She just wished he would *volunteer* to take her to the stupid dance.  
  
"Okay," he replied and kissed her cheek, satisfied with her answer.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
"It's this light blue color but it's so pretty," Ann stressed about her new Prom dress which she would wear tomorrow as the group of friends headed down the hall.  
  
"Yeah?" Grace listened. Didn't good friends do that? Ann, Michelle and Kay had been going on and on about sharing a limo and where they were going to eat and what dresses they had and how their hair would be for the last week. Grace wanted to scream when they brought up *some* other aspect of Prom.  
  
Somehow she had convinced them that she was just fine with staying home. And she had been, at first. But then the posters for the dance started popping up and it was all anyone could talk about and Beth's new boyfriend was taking her and blah blah blah. It had slowly ate away at Grace until all she wanted to do was go to the stupid dance.  
  
*With* Eli. Why wouldn't he just take her? It was the perfect opportunity to go on a *real* date (which, after a month and a half, they still had not done. They'd been to the movies, with Jessie, and hung out in his bedroom. She wanted something concrete, romantic and *real*). It was the chance to slip under everyone's radar's, undetected, and spend a night out. But he had disregarded it and she hadn't brought it back to his attention. Were all men this insensitive? Did they *really* need to be walked through *everything*?  
  
"Grace, you can still come stag, you know," Kay added, noticing her friend's frown.  
  
"No, I'm all right," she shrugged then thought, *Liar.*  
  
They entered their history class and the teacher returned the essay exams from the day before. Grace took hers, then froze at the sight of a C+.  
  
"Oh my God."  
  
She scanned quickly down to the teacher's notes, in red (why did they have to use that angry, violent, evil *red* pen?) and found, "Read through chapters 7 and 8 for a more clear understanding of the Elizabethan era."  
  
"Wow," Ann said when she caught a glimpse of Grace's paper.  
  
Grace set it down, sadly. As though being bombarded with Prom tomorrow wasn't enough, her grades were going downhill as well. Her life just kept getting better and better.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Grace knocked on Eli's door with their knock and he answered to come in. She sluggishly entered, seeing him putting his shoes on.  
  
"Hey," he smiled in greeting.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I had a bad day," she muttered, sitting on the bed next to him as he continued to slip the other shoe on.  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
"I got a C+ on my test."  
  
"That's not bad," he disputed and she gave him an 'are you serious' look. He amended, "Oh. Well. For you, I guess it is."  
  
She sighed, her shoulders slumping further down. "Zoe is smiling at me funny again."  
  
"She loves being in on it. But she won't crack," Eli said as he stood and grabbed his coat. "She's gone a week completely normal. I was beginning to think she forgot."  
  
"Where are you going?" she curiously asked.  
  
"Ted's meeting with some guys who are roadies for this great band. I think he's trying to get us in with them so we're going to hang out with them for a little while."  
  
"Oh," she nodded, feigning interest.  
  
"*Roadies*!" he emphasized with a grin and she smiled a little at his excitement.  
  
"That's great."  
  
Eli leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I'm kind of late. I'll talk to you later."  
  
She presented her fake smile, wondering if he recognized it yet and he left. Apparently not.  
  
"Bye."  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Lily gasped as Jessie came down the staircase. She blushed a little as Zoe, Grace, her father and Lily watched her descend the stairs. Eli had another emergency hang-out with the roadies but he had told his sister to have a good night before he left.  
  
"You look gorgeous," Lily sighed.  
  
Grace smiled when Jessie glanced at her. She didn't have anything against Jessie, really. She used to be jealous at how her mother seemed to think of Jessie as the daughter she *wished* she had but Grace had realized it simply wasn't true and she was genuinely glad that Jessie was happier now.  
  
She was also still depressed that everyone she knew was going to the dance tonight and would thus experience the entire thing without her (then talk about it for the next three weeks).  
  
Eli had not picked up on her subtle hints and she noted that she would have to be a little more obvious next time she needed him to play the good boyfriend.  
  
Jessie shrugged a bit under the sudden spotlight. "I guess I'll sit down and wait."  
  
Her date was going to pick her up soon so they relaxed. They sat and watched television for a while until Grace noticed that more than a while had passed. She looked at Jessie who was sitting near the foyer door, her face deepened into a sad frown. The clock read twenty five minutes past the time her date was supposed to come.  
  
"Maybe he got lost," Lily suggested. "Should you call him maybe?"  
  
"Yeah, maybe," Jessie nodded and went to the kitchen to call.  
  
They waited uneasily while she did so and she returned a moment later.  
  
"He's not coming," she murmured.  
  
"What?" Lily sat up instantly.  
  
"Why?" Rick asked.  
  
"His dad said his grandmother got sick so he's visiting her."  
  
"Oh, that's too bad..." Lily replied but Grace wasn't sure if she was talking about the grandmother or the fact that Jessie's date wasn't coming.  
  
Jessie exhaled. "I'm going to go change."  
  
Grace watched her slumped shoulders as she turned and headed upstairs. She knew what it was like to want to go to the upper classmen's dances and she especially knew what it like to want to be accepted. Everyone in high school seemed to feel exactly the same, but no one ever said it and no one ever *helped* anyone else. It seemed like those were the most important times to help the people that were going through the same exact things.  
  
She went up the stairs and caught Jessie before she went on, up to her room.  
  
"Um, it really sucks that your date can't come," she started and Jessie nodded a little. "But how about I get you in?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I mean, I'm a Junior. I could get you in. You could hang out with me and my friends."  
  
"Oh. I don't know..." she trailed. She didn't want to be such a bother but she had on the best dress she had ever worn and she was looking forward to showing it off just a little bit.  
  
"It'll be cool; you'll see," Grace promised. "Kids all go with dates but once you get there you'll see that they just all hang out in groups as usual."  
  
Jessie wavered until Grace added one last comment. "You can't sit at home- you *have* to wear this dress in public."  
  
Jessie smiled then. It really was a pretty dress.  
  
"Okay," she shrugged.  
  
"Give me ten minutes to get ready," Grace replied, whirling into her room and Jessie grinned, heading back downstairs.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Grace threw on the nicest dress she could find which was the flower satin one from the wedding last year. Leaving the pink wrap behind and pining her hair up on the sides, she decided to leave it. She wasn't trying to impress anyone really; she just didn't want to stick out by being under-dressed.  
  
They arrived and quickly found Grace's friends mulling around. Everyone loved Jessie's dress and she beamed from all the compliments. Grace was glad; if she couldn't be happy, at least *someone* was.  
  
They chatted for awhile and Grace saw Mitch pass by with Shannon next to him. She really hated Shannon. It wasn't so much that she liked Mitch, it was just that he was her only possible 'date' and he hadn't asked her and now he was there with some girl she hated.  
  
The music slowed and the group they stood in began to break apart, her friends dragging their dates on the floor for the slow dance. Mike walked up to Jessie and asked her if she wanted to dance. She hesitantly agreed and they left.  
  
Grace sighed and shrunk back so she could lean against the gym wall, alone. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. It was great to help Jessie out but everyone was off with their dates now and she stood there, depressed, dressed up and without a date. She couldn't sneak out to go home early because they were both getting a ride from Rick in an hour or so.  
  
She inwardly groaned when the lights turned a soft blue and the romantic song went on throughout the gym. This must be what torture was like.  
  
As she looked at all the couples sway with the music her sight suddenly froze near the entrance.  
  
Eli was slowly surveying the mass of people until he caught sight of her on the wall, by herself. He had on his nice suit that he'd worn at the wedding last year and fit right in among the well dressed.  
  
He grinned at her and her heart skipped a beat and felt as though it might burst as she smiled back.  
  
He approached, his hands politely folded behind his back.  
  
"Am I late?" he joked and she smiled as he went on to explain. "I was going to take you out when I got home but they told me you and Jess came here. So."  
  
Grace smiled a little at him and Eli glanced at the dance floor then nodded at it once. "Want to dance?"  
  
"Seriously?" she cautiously remarked and he rolled his eyes.  
  
"I'm not *that* bad," he retorted and she laughed.  
  
He took her free hand and led her forward. She held his hand and settled the other on his arm as he brought her close to him softly. She rested her cheek on his shoulder and quietly said, "This is our first date."  
  
"Yep," he agreed. "What do you think so far?"  
  
"The first two minutes aren't bad," she smiled, jokingly and he snickered before she hugged him tightly.  
  
He let himself just feel then. No thought, only the sensation of holding her and she, resting so safely against him. He knew he did not want to be with his friends that night so he had gone home to be with her. And now, in her grasp, Eli felt more calm and confident than he had been for years.  
  
He edged back slightly so she would look up at him and as she did, he held her gaze. His hand came up to her cheek, tilting her face up.  
  
"Thanks," he murmured.  
  
"For what?" she asked in confusion.  
  
Eli took a deep breath as he looked into her pure and beautiful eyes. "For making me feel like a better person."  
  
Grace was a bit stunned and speechless but she couldn't look away from the open sincerity in his gaze. She slightly smiled and his thumb ran along her cheek before he leaned forward, slowly kissing her soft lips. Her arms slid around his shoulders slowly and urged him closer as he gained sweet entrance and his feather light caresses floated in her mouth. The more he tasted, the more he needed of her and his hands encouraged her to press into him.  
  
It felt like the world could have disappeared as they stood together; nothing mattered more than the taste of her lips or his strong arms shielding her from the hard realities they had forgotten for the night. She was his gravity and this feeling was the only thing he would always be sure of.  
  
She never wanted to part with him but the song was ending. She gently pulled away, her eyes misty as she looked on him and he came to his senses as well.  
  
Eli snickered a little at how easily he got lost with her as he set his forehead against hers. He hugged her securely to him then, burying his face in her neck and she comfortably held him back, knowing she had never been more happy in her entire life than she was at that moment.  
  
*  
  
Jessie saw them hug; she saw it all, actually. Eli had come into the dance and she wondered why just before he went to Grace.  
  
Before tonight, she didn't much care for Grace. They never got along; she had always made her feel so unwelcome *all the time*. But she had suddenly done something so nice, had brought her into her circle of friends and it actually turned into a great night now that Jessie was here.  
  
Still, when Grace and Eli started dancing, it had made her unsure of what to think of Grace now. They danced a little too close and held each other a little too naturally.  
  
But when she watched Eli say something to her, she saw something she had never seen in his expression. It was vulnerable and serious but also something else she couldn't put her finger on. She'd never seen him look at anyone like he looked at Grace at that moment.  
  
They'd kissed and Jessie had glanced away, feeling bad suddenly for watching. Her partner, Mike, stopped dancing when the song ended and she cast one last look at the two who, unwaveringly, held the other.  
  
Jessie left the dance floor with Mike but her mind was somewhere else. She knew now what she had suspected since they had first moved into Lily's house: Eli definitely had feelings for Grace and there was *something* going on right under all of their noses.  
  
  
  
... 


	8. Sometimes It Be That Way

I wonder if it's necessary, every chapter, to tell you all how much I need your feedback? =) Okay, you're glorious and you know it, beauties. I'm sure that won't stop me from telling you every three days, though. LOL. Speaking of, if I were you I would definitely stick around for the next chapter (9). It's *ahem* quite luscious. =D All right, enough blabbering:  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Sometimes everything in life was a little perfect, Grace thought, smiling to herself. As she entered the school that Monday morning, she fantasized about how much she loved her life now.  
  
"Grace!" Ann exclaimed, coming from a connecting hall.  
  
"Hey," Grace smiled at her then noticed the shocked expression.  
  
"Why didn't you call me back yesterday? You left the dance so quickly!"  
  
Grace shrugged. "I just figured I'd talk to you today."  
  
"Was that Eli Sammler who was at Prom with you??" Ann snapped, stopping their walking and Grace paused.  
  
"...yeah?"  
  
"Oh my god!" she grinned. "How- I mean, when did you- I mean, uh..."  
  
"Ann, you should probably breathe," Grace joked then felt a pair of claws grab her arm from the other side. Kay appeared next to her, her unrelenting grip still clutching at Grace.  
  
"What is the matter with you?!" Kay scolded.  
  
"What?" Grace exclaimed, defensively.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us??"  
  
"He totally lives in your house, doesn't he?" Ann eagerly pulled Grace to face her again. "Oh god, I bet he kisses really good."  
  
"How far have you gone with him?" Kay added.  
  
"Are you guys going out, officially?" Ann said.  
  
"What did your parents say?" Kay asked and Grace paused.  
  
"I can't really talk about it," she replied, moving on through the hall.  
  
"Why not?" Ann snorted as they followed. "My god, I've fantasized about Eli Sammler since Freshman year. You have *got* to tell me what he's like."  
  
"I can't," Grace shrugged, not enjoying the conversation. She didn't know what she wanted to say yet so it was better to say nothing.  
  
"Why?" Kay asked then gasped. "You haven't told your parents."  
  
Grace gawked at her. Kay must have been psychic. Either that or she was transparent. The latter seemed a bit more likely...  
  
"What?" Ann gasped at her as well. "You guys are sneaking around?"  
  
"Okay, seriously: I can't really talk about anything right now. We're just... kind of... seeing each other. But I can't say anything else and you both have to swear you will not tell anyone either."  
  
"No need; everyone in our junior class saw you at the dance!" Kay reasoned.  
  
"And *everyone* remembers Eli," Ann threw in.  
  
Grace sighed. For one night, they felt normal. Now her worries began, yet again.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
"I think Eli borrowed one of my CDs," Grace explained after her mother asked where she was going, nearing the backdoor.  
  
She'd spent the day avoiding questions that surrounded her and Eli's relationship and she'd been relieved to get home. The hype would die down soon and her school would, hopefully, go back to normal. And she wanted to talk to him about it as soon as possible.  
  
Grace knocked and he called to enter. She opened the door and didn't see him anywhere.  
  
"Eli?"  
  
"Yeah?" he appeared behind the door and she jumped a little. He laughed at her nervousness and closed the door before sliding his arms around her and smoothing near to capture her lips.  
  
She gave him a peck then pulled back to which he looked at her oddly.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"My entire school knows we're going out," she stated and he headed over for the guitar sitting on the bed.  
  
"Oh yeah?"  
  
Grace stared at him as he nonchalantly started to play a bit on the guitar.  
  
"Yeah!" she snapped. "That doesn't bother you?"  
  
Eli shrugged. "Why would it bother me?"  
  
"Because people *know*. Two days ago you, me and Zoe knew. Now there are about two thousand more people who know," she remarked.  
  
He slowed the playing then stood, setting it aside. "When will any of those kids have a chance to talk to your mom or my dad?"  
  
Grace was stumped at his reasoning for a moment and he headed out of the room, stopping to hold her arms gently and kiss her cheek.  
  
"It'll be fine, trust me," he replied then kept on his way out the door.  
  
*  
  
Eli knocked at the door that led upstairs and a few moments later Jessie said to come in. He found her sitting on her bed, reading a text book from school. She glanced up then looked back down at her studies as he came to a stop near the bed, hands securely tucked in his pockets.  
  
"What's going on?" he started.  
  
"Nothing."  
  
He nodded then slid into a chair that sat nearby.  
  
"Is your homework hard?"  
  
"No."  
  
They sat in silence again and Jessie glanced away.  
  
"I saw you," she murmured in monotone and he paused a moment.  
  
"I know."  
  
Jessie faced him and he silently conveyed his apology with his eyes. She sighed and looked away. "Why didn't you say anything?"  
  
"Couldn't tell anybody. I wanted to but I couldn't," he explained.  
  
"She's the one you told that girl you were seeing? You're dating Grace?" she quietly asked, waiting for a confirmation.  
  
Eli nodded slowly and Jessie gazed off into the distance again.  
  
"Why?"  
  
The side of his mouth kicked up a bit as he thought about it which she noticed. She'd never seen that look before, either.  
  
"Never mind," she said.  
  
"Jess, I know this is... weird. But I'm really... kind of happy now," he admitted and she could see the honesty in his expression.  
  
Maybe that's what that look in his eye was when he had thought of Grace: happiness. What else could it be?  
  
Jessie felt selfish when she thought of herself as not wanting Eli to be with Grace and, consequently, not be happy. It felt mean and immature. Besides, Eli's life had been so tumultuous since he graduated; it was really good to see him happy again.  
  
"The dance was pretty cool," Jessie began and he smiled.  
  
"Your first formal, right?"  
  
"Yes. Everyone liked my dress," she smiled. "Didn't you think the decorations were nice?"  
  
"Yeah, they were all right," he shrugged and she scoffed.  
  
"I bet they were better than at *your* junior prom."  
  
"Please, my junior prom was a *lot* better than that one," he joked and she went on, teasing and joking as usual.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Zoe flipped the pages of the magazine that temporarily held her attention and glanced up at her aunt Judy who stocked the shelves of the bookstore. It was quiet in the store and she was there to help that afternoon.  
  
"Aunt Judy, what would you do if you knew a secret but couldn't tell anyone?" Zoe curiously asked and Judy faced her, with interest.  
  
"Do you know a secret?"  
  
Zoe shrugged and Judy grinned, scuttling over and sitting across from her at the small coffee table.  
  
"Who does it involve?" she asked.  
  
Zoe paused. "Grace."  
  
"Hmm," Judy thinking, remembering all the dirt she used to get on her own older sister as a kid. "Is it good?"  
  
Zoe nodded slowly and Judy gawked.  
  
"Is it a big secret?"  
  
Zoe nodded adamantly and Judy smiled. "Why can't you tell me?"  
  
"I can't tell anyone. I promised I wouldn't."  
  
"Can I guess?" Judy inquired and raised one brow. Zoe shrugged again with a smile. "Okay, does it involve... Grace with one of her friends?"  
  
Zoe shook her head 'no' and Judy continued. "A guy at school?"  
  
Again, she said 'no'.  
  
"Someone in your house?"  
  
Zoe smiled and Judy laughed at her mischievous niece. "Okay, Grace and your mom?"  
  
She shook her head and Judy sighed. "Grace and Jessie?"  
  
Zoe was getting frustrated with this guessing game and Judy shrugged. "Grace and Eli?"  
  
She froze and Judy's smile faded a little, turning serious. "Grace and Eli?"  
  
"I didn't say anything!" Zoe defended herself when she saw Judy wasn't particularly *enjoying* the great secret she had begun to reveal.  
  
"Zoe, what do you know about them?" Judy pressed further.  
  
"Nothing. I just know they're going out," she shrugged then slapped her hand to her mouth.  
  
Judy's own mouth was permanently ajar. "Grace just told you she was going out with Eli?"  
  
"No, I walked in on them."  
  
"On them doing *what*?" Judy asked with shock.  
  
"Hugging," Zoe smiled and Judy relaxed.  
  
"And your mother doesn't know," she made sure as Zoe shook her head 'no'. "Okay. That's okay for now... That she doesn't know..."  
  
"Who doesn't know what?" Lily asked as she appeared, coming from the back of the store.  
  
"Lily!" Judy jumped. "I was saying it's best that... my friend Jeanine doesn't know that she's, uh... extremely unattractive."  
  
Lily's brow furrowed. "That's mean to say about your friend."  
  
Judy shrugged then muttered, "Yeah, well, sometimes the truth hurts."  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
"So after I work this summer I think I'll have enough for an apartment," Eli lazily said. His head was resting on Grace's crossed legs as she sat and he lay on her bed, her hands absently running through his soft hair. "Then we can just be over there," he smiled up at her.  
  
"How will I explain *that*?" she snorted and he shrugged, closing his eyes and just enjoying her gentle touches.  
  
"We'll worry about that later."  
  
Grace snickered lightly and was glad that he wasn't stressed and angry anymore. Three months ago he would brood and he didn't like where he was in his life. Now, he was relaxed and happier, not as worried about the pressures his family put upon him. She loved that he was happier.  
  
However.  
  
*She* was the one left to think about the realities of what was going on. They had been extremely lucky for the past two months even though they were sneaking around in front of everyone and even *Zoe* knew. She'd never expected to be so lucky. But she had a bad feeling that their free time was quickly running out and they would soon have to come clean to the two people they dreaded the most.  
  
"Let's hang out Friday; you can tell your mom you're going to a friend's house," he said then.  
  
The door knocked suddenly and they jerked with surprise.  
  
"Yeah, hang on!" she called as she quickly grabbed Eli's shoulders and spun him over, off the bed so he landed hard on his stomach on the floor with a thud.  
  
He clenched his teeth to contain the exclamation that came to his lips. He muttered lowly, "ow."  
  
Grace jumped off the bed then nudged Eli with her foot, motioning for him to get under the bed.  
  
He was about to dispute her suggestion until he heard the doorknob moving. He crawled underneath swiftly and saw Grace's feet pounce to the door but she couldn't stop it from opening.  
  
"Dad!"  
  
Eli cringed. He could just imagine how this would turn out if her father found him hiding in her bedroom. It was a much worse scenario than if Lily or his own father found out. Fathers had a thing about guys with their daughters. Especially in their bedrooms...  
  
"What was that?" Jake asked about the thudding noise Eli had made hitting the floor.  
  
"I... fell off the bed," she replied. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"I was going to take Zoe to that movie you girls wanted to see. You want to come, right?"  
  
"Uh... I can't right now," she stumbled. "I'm working on this big final project."  
  
Eli watched their feet then glanced to the side, on the floor next to him. His eyes widened a bit when he saw a light pink bra that seemed nearly sheer.  
  
"You can't do it later?" Jake hedged.  
  
"No, it's a really big deal. I mean, I'm really behind," Grace shrugged quickly.  
  
Jake's brow furrowed a little. "Honey, you look flushed. Are you getting sick?" he said, touching her forehead to check the temperature.  
  
"Oh maybe," she nodded. "I'll be okay."  
  
"You're sure you don't want to come?" he gave her one last chance and she shook her head with a smile.  
  
"No, thanks. I've really got to get started on this."  
  
"Okay." He kissed her forehead and Grace closed the door. She made sure her radio was turned up again.  
  
She collapsed against the closed door with an exhale. "God, that was so close."  
  
Eli made an 'uh huh' sound of agreement from under the bed then paused. "Uh, Grace?"  
  
"What?"  
  
He crawled out then stood, displaying the bra out with a grin. "What's this?"  
  
Grace blushed completely and snatched the garment away, muttering, "oh my god."  
  
She threw it into her closet and closed it as he sat back on the bed. "Think you'll ever wear it for me?"  
  
She rolled her eyes at his teasing and cast a wary look at him but he simply smiled and didn't press it. That was another thing that they hadn't talked about. They had made out heavily, even lying down, but nothing past that. She'd never gone further than that *at all*. She knew she wanted to but it was all new territory and she wasn't sure how to go about it.  
  
"Anyway," he said lying back on the bed again. "Why did we decide it was better to hang out in your room, again?"  
  
"Because I couldn't keep making excuses to go out to your room and it's more believable for you to be in the house," she explained then returned to their earlier comfortable seating.  
  
"Oh yeah," he murmured, getting cozy in on her legs then eyed her cautiously. "You locked the door this time, didn't you?"  
  
Grace paused, in thought, then sighed at herself, going to the door and securely locking it.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Judy knocked and entered the front door to Lily's house. Her sister appeared just outside of the kitchen.  
  
"There you are," she said and Judy shrugged her coat off.  
  
"Here I am."  
  
Lily returned to the kitchen and Judy slowly walked into the living room. Eli walked through the foyer and waved at her in passing. She paused, and hesitantly waved. It seemed odd to see him now, knowing about him and Grace.  
  
"We're ready to eat," Lily called.  
  
Judy held her tongue all through dinner as she sat with all of them, minus Eli who had somewhere to go. She watched Grace act completely normal and wondered if maybe Zoe imagined the 'hugging' she had caught them doing. Maybe she took it out of context?  
  
The dinner ended and they dispersed. Judy took the moment to excuse herself upstairs for the bathroom but really headed for Grace's bedroom door. She knocked and entered after invitation.  
  
Grace turned in her chair that sat in front of the computer. "Hi."  
  
"Hey, what are you doing?" Judy casually greeted, closing the door behind herself and sitting on the bed nearby.  
  
"Not much," Grace shrugged. Judy nodded, patiently waiting and Grace glanced around. "So what's going on?"  
  
"Nothing," Judy shook her head with a smile then waited again.  
  
"...Are you okay?" Grace asked.  
  
"I'm fine. What about you? What's going on with you?"  
  
Grace hesitantly watched her aunt eagerly wait for something and it hit her suddenly. Her expression fell angry then answered, "Nothing."  
  
"Are you sure?" Judy included and Grace heaved a sigh.  
  
"God, she told you??"  
  
"Gracie-"  
  
"I *knew* she'd crack," she muttered to herself.  
  
"What is going on?" Judy carefully requested.  
  
"What did Zoe tell you?" she asked first.  
  
Judy shook her head in bafflement. "She said you and Eli were *going out*."  
  
She didn't know what to say to that. She didn't know what to say to make that concerned, puzzled and oddly disapproving look on her aunts face go away.  
  
Grace hated this feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was a cold fear that her aunt Judy would stand up and go tell her mother that second about her and Eli.  
  
"Grace, how long have you been..."  
  
"Two months."  
  
Judy sighed and took her niece's hand. "Honey, I know you've always liked Eli but... you can't date him."  
  
Grace looked at her in awe. "Judy, I thought you, of all people, would understand."  
  
"Understand what?" she said, her back straightening a little.  
  
"That you can't help it," Grace replied. "When you first started dating Sam Blue? You knew he was..." She paused, not wanting to get into the details of Judy's affair with a married man. She skipped that and simply said, "You knew but it didn't stop you from loving him. You just couldn't help it."  
  
"Gracie, that's different. You're infatuated," Judy calmly said.  
  
Grace gently shook her head and Judy could see the raw honesty in her expression.  
  
"No, I'm not," she quietly replied.  
  
Judy sat back slowly, realizing she had never seen Grace more serious about anything before.  
  
"Please do not tell my mother," she pleaded.  
  
"Grace!"  
  
"Please, Judy. I swear we're going to tell them," she assured her. "Just not yet. We're just not ready yet."  
  
Judy sighed, seeing the desperation in her niece's eyes. She knew the instant Grace had looked at her like that, she would not be able to betray her trust.  
  
"okay," she murmured and Grace surged to her feet to hug her tightly.  
  
"Thank you," Grace gratefully said and Judy hugged her back.  
  
"I hope you know what you're doing."  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Grace sat a little stiffly on the couch, the people next to her complete strangers, as others lounged around. Eli had heard of a party that Friday so she told her mother she was going to Ann's house and they went out.  
  
The party was in an old warehouse that had some sort of rank smell she hadn't yet been able to place. The roadie friends of Eli's band had invited him so there were many strange looking people in attendance. He, himself, had disappeared for what he said would be a "second". Grace checked her watch for the sixth time and decided four minutes was not a "second".  
  
The girl next to her named KC, who had been extremely polite, offered her a bottle.  
  
Grace looked at it then smiled with a shake of the head. "No thanks."  
  
"It's just beer," KC explained.  
  
"Yeah, I don't really like the taste," she admitted and KC nodded her understanding.  
  
Eli appeared then and she stood, glad he was finally there.  
  
"Come here for a sec," he nodded and took her hand, leading her through the people and to a more quiet area near the back. They approached a couple of twenty-something guys and Eli slid behind her casually, his hand resting at her waist.  
  
With his free hand he pointed out each, one by one. "That's Dave, Orlando, Will and Ben."  
  
She smiled at them, rightly presuming they were the roadies.  
  
Eli continued the introductions for them. "This is my girlfriend Grace."  
  
"Hey Grace," Ben nodded as the others said 'hellos' but she didn't really notice. That was the first time Eli ever called her his girlfriend, especially to other people. It made her stomach flutter a little with happiness.  
  
Orlando started talking about their next tour for the summer months. A minute or so later, a few of them had to depart and Grace took the opportunity to pull Eli aside, finding a quiet hallway.  
  
"What's up?" he questioned.  
  
"Nothing," she replied then tugged his hands forward, wrapping them around her waist as she leaned up and kissed him solidly.  
  
He smiled a little at the surprise but returned the kiss, sliding his hands up her back as her arms draped over his shoulders. His tongue smoothed inside and her grip clenched his shirt as he pressed forward, backing them into a wall.  
  
She was enthusiastically kissing him back, hauling him into her, encouraging more.  
  
Eli pulled back from kissing and exhaled, "What did you have to *drink*?"  
  
Grace puffed out a laugh and shook her head. "Nothing."  
  
"Oh god, did someone give you a joint?" he warily asked and she laughed a little.  
  
"No," she honestly answered and his brow furrowed.  
  
"Then what..."  
  
Okay, so she sort of jumped him, she admitted that much to herself. But she'd never wanted to more in her life than after he had called her his girlfriend. Just the idea of it: his one and only girl, exclusive rights to one another. It made her giddy to think of again, which she had done too many times to count in the last five minutes since he'd said it.  
  
Grace smiled a little and yanked him to her again. He eagerly claimed her lips, drawing a slight moan from her when he pressed into her again.  
  
"So you're not going to tell me?" he murmured against her mouth and she shook her head. He grinned at that and replied, "Can I try to get it out of you?"  
  
Grace couldn't contain the devilish grin that broke across her face which he returned before sweeping in and seizing her sweet lips again.  
  
  
  
... 


	9. What's Simple Is True

All right, as one of my favorite writers likes to say, hide the children and small animals. We're (finally) living up to our rating here, folks, so here is the ***OFFICIAL*** warning. I could be safe and merely mark it NC-17 but that little window that pops up is just so annoying. Besides, I know you're all responsible and mature enough to handle whatever I throw out at you. Right?? =) Good. So, buckle up, kids. Here's where the wacky world goes...  
  
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Grace pulled Eli closer as his body shifted on top of her, his arms holding him above to prevent crushing her. His bed lightly creaked when he rolled over her but their sighs and the rustle of their clothing swallowed the sound. They kissed heavily and she held him close to her, their hot mouths soaking at the other fervently.  
  
Eli's hand moved down her side, along her jean covered hip and eased under her knee to draw her leg up. In doing so, he was now nestled between her thighs and her arms clutched at him tighter. They'd been doing this for so long but this was definitely her favorite part. She felt him gently press into her and her legs wrapped around his thighs, tugging him forward more firmly.  
  
Their kiss broke and the hard press of him into her made her gasp. He quietly moaned into her shoulder as he drove forward again. Her heart was pounding and she didn't want to let go; she wanted to absorb every inch of him. She felt him thrust smoothly again and knew it was time.  
  
"okay," she breathed out between her shallow inhales.  
  
Eli exhaled and sluggishly rolled aside, onto his back. They lay in silence, collecting in their breaths and Eli sighed.  
  
"I don't think I should keep starting and stopping like this. I think it's bad for my health," he said and she paused before a laugh escaped. He cast an irritated look at her as she laughed at him.  
  
She calmed her laughter with a "Sorry." She sobered then took a deep breath. "It's just that... there are dirty socks on the end of your bed and a half eaten, moldy pizza box on the floor over there. It's not really how I pictured it."  
  
"So... if I clean my room?" he only half joked.  
  
"I can't believe that you can just do it so easily with your dad and my mom in the house next door," she replied and he snorted.  
  
"I've done it before."  
  
Grace's brow furrowed and Eli froze, knowing the second he said it, he shouldn't have. She sat up abruptly in the bed.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Nothing," he played dumb when she turned to face him.  
  
"You've had girls in here while we were next door?"  
  
Eli wondered if this was one of those times to protect her feelings with a lie or to keep to the 'honesty is he best policy' rule. He stuck with the former from that nearly wounded look on her face.  
  
"No," he answered easily enough and she glared, waiting for him to break. "Not *here*. But when I lived with my dad, he was next door sometimes. I didn't do it a *lot*."  
  
He was lying, she could tell. Still, maybe she didn't want the truth. And even though he didn't date them while he had his own place she wanted to know more about Carla and that girl Jennifer. She stopped herself, though. She didn't feel like having that conversation tonight.  
  
Grace threw her legs over the side of the bed and grabbed her shoes.  
  
"What, you're mad now?" he sighed.  
  
"No, I'm not mad," she replied, honestly, slipping the shoes on.  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"My mom is expecting me back in the house," she explained.  
  
Eli reached over lazily, grabbing the back of her shirt and tugging her back until she laid perpendicular, her head resting on his stomach. His hand brushed the hair back from her forehead as he gazed down at her and she up at him.  
  
"Are we ever going to? you know..." he quietly asked, not wanting to pressure anything but needing to know. They'd been going through this routine for two and a half months and he had to know where it was going.  
  
"I mean," he went on. "Do you want to?"  
  
"Yes!" she assured him then had the grace to blush. Despite her still timid nature in discussing it, she really did feel it was time and wanted it to be with him. She couldn't imagine anyone in the world, now, who she'd rather be with.  
  
He smiled gently and she tenderly touched his stomach then sat up to leave.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Grace peered at the many pamphlets in front of her near the school's nurses office. Teen pregnancy, AIDS, STDs. There was even a huge poster of a 13 year-old-looking girl with a wailing baby in her arms. Why on Earth had she been freaked about sex?  
  
God, why was it so easy when she was with Eli but when she stopped and thought about it, it seemed so scary? The fear was instilled in all kids these days, she supposed, for safety and health reasons. But he made her feel safe so the fear melted away when she was with him.  
  
"Hey Grace," Jessie greeted as she approached the nurses office.  
  
Grace's mouth fell a little when Jessie looked at the pamphlets before them and her expression turned down as well.  
  
"Oh, hey. I wasn't looking at... I mean, I'm not- I was just..." she stuttered as hers eyes flew over every hideous pamphlet title in embarrassment. She grabbed the first one she could and Jessie looked at the PMS booklet.  
  
Grace glanced at it then added, "...I have really bad PMS."  
  
Jessie nodded and held up a piece of folded paper. "I'm just delivering this note to the nurse."  
  
"Okay, I'll see you around," she quickly excused herself, knowing her cheeks were burning red.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
The rehearsal was finished and the group, along with a few friends lounged around Coop's basement. Ben's girlfriend, Megean, was sitting near Eli as the others talked about nothing in particular.  
  
She glanced at Eli and casually asked, "Where's your girlfriend?"  
  
"She's at home. She couldn't come," he shrugged.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Eli didn't want to say that it was because his father and her mother were married and they were sneaking around behind their parents' backs. He smiled politely at her instead and offered, "She had something to do."  
  
Megean nodded. "How old is she?"  
  
Eli paused, wondering where this girl he barely knew was going with her questioning. "A few years younger. Why?"  
  
"No reason," she replied, taking a swig of the bottle in her hand. They sat in silence for a moment until Megean asked, "How long have you been dating her?"  
  
"A few months," he said but with an annoyed tilt in his tone. She held her hands up in surrender as he waited for her to say something.  
  
"I'm just saying-"  
  
"What? What are you 'just saying'?"  
  
"She doesn't seem like your type," she shrugged.  
  
"My type?" he snickered.  
  
Megean watched him then said, "She's too sweet. Virginal, you know? Like, Little Miss Innocent. It just doesn't seem like the type you'd go for."  
  
Eli faced forward, ignoring her comment. She didn't know him and she sure as hell didn't know Grace.  
  
"Anyway, it's none of my business. I'm just making an observation," she added.  
  
"Yeah, thanks," he sarcastically replied and pushed off from the couch, leaving her alone.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
A sigh escaped Grace's lips in her sleep as she shifted slightly in her bed. She didn't hear the door silently open, or the footsteps that brought him in. When the bed dipped under the weight of his body, Grace slowly woke, finding Eli crawling next to her.  
  
"Eli-" she started then looked to the time which read 2:30am. He settled into the soft mattress beside her, his hand around her waist as she tried to clear her sleep filled eyes.  
  
He leaned forward gently and kissed at her cheek, trailing over to her lips. She tiredly kissed him back. Maybe something had happened and he just needed to be near her.  
  
Eli edged closer until the length of him was alongside her and his hands traveled up her ribcage. His kisses slowly grew deeper and after she softly hummed into him, he repositioned himself over her, his knee smoothly parting her thighs.  
  
Her pulse began to race as it did every time he touched her like this. She could feel him all around her; his hand sliding over her breast and his hard body pressing into hers, everywhere. His kisses, touches and motion all excited her but she gently pushed at his shoulder.  
  
"Eli..."  
  
He was suddenly gone completely, clearing the bed swiftly and standing away.  
  
"You always stop. You want to keep going but you just *stop*," he snapped and Grace sat up, snapping just as quickly: "Shhh!"  
  
Eli rolled his eyes with an exhale. "Who cares? Who *cares* if they hear us?"  
  
"I care!" she tightly whispered. "Are you drunk or something?"  
  
He shook his head tiredly, rolling his eyes with irritation.  
  
"Then what is the matter with you?"  
  
"I'm just saying that you obviously want to-" he started.  
  
"Our entire family is in the next room!" she angrily whispered.  
  
"So what? This isn't about *them*! It's about us," Eli snapped back in a normal voice and she shushed him again.  
  
"They're going to hear you!"  
  
"Forget it," he muttered and headed for her door.  
  
"Eli!" she called but he opened the door and she fell silent, not wanting to gain attention of her mother next door. He shut it firmly and she flinched, knowing that would wake them.  
  
A few moments later, she heard Rick's footsteps investigating but Eli was long gone back to his room by then and Grace settled back into her bed, uneasily, not knowing exactly what had just happened.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
She made it through a day at school, tearing herself up wondering about what was wrong with Eli. Did something happen with the band? Or was he worrying again about a job with the summer approaching so quickly?  
  
Grace got home but he was not there. She tried to busy herself with the project that was due in two days until she was called down to dinner. They ate and finished seamlessly and just as she set her plate into the dishwasher after dinner, Eli entered from the back laundry room.  
  
He caught sight of her first and she waited for some sort of indication that he wanted to talk to her.  
  
"Eli," Lily greeted, handing her plate to Grace. "Do you want me to heat up the left-overs for you?"  
  
"Uh, sure. Thanks," he shrugged off his coat and Grace finished the dishes. It was only the three of them in the kitchen but Lily's back faced them as she fixed a plate for him.  
  
Grace subtly nodded towards the foyer and he agreed before she started out.  
  
"I'm just going to wash up," he excused himself to Lily.  
  
He found her near the stair, in the corner and went to her.  
  
"Are you okay?" she quietly asked.  
  
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"  
  
She paused then shrugged. "You were just... kind of weird last night."  
  
"I'm fine," he stated curtly then started off. She stopped him by catching two handfuls of his shirt and he softly slid her hands into his. He faced her worried look calmly, his thumbs skimming along her hands.  
  
They heard footsteps and dropped their hands, looking over to find his father peering around the floor.  
  
"Have you guys seen my blue print roll?" he asked.  
  
"No," Eli shook his head and she did the same.  
  
Rick hesitated, then, and observed them; he took in how they stood a little too close to be chatting normally and they were in the corner of the foyer; their body language alone conveyed tension.  
  
"Everything okay?" he lightly inquired.  
  
Eli glared at his father then and said in a tone that expressed its obviousness, "Yeah."  
  
Rick nodded a little then went back into the living room. Grace swapped at his arm angrily and he backed up.  
  
"Ow!"  
  
"What is wrong with you?" she whispered hard.  
  
"What?"  
  
She shook her head, knowing she couldn't have this conversation, where they were, now. But something had shifted just then and she didn't like it. When Rick had appeared, Eli hadn't backed away; he stayed near her and she wanted to shove him back; to protect them. But it had been too late and Rick saw them and then he *saw* them. She knew he did; it was the way he seemed to examine them, even though she had smiled as convincingly as possible.  
  
And then Eli had snapped at him in that tone. That tone that meant, 'Mind your own business'. If she didn't know better, she might believe he was subconsciously trying to get them caught.  
  
"I'm hungry," he murmured and walked away. She let him because there was nothing to say just yet. Her school was finally demanding her attention and that had to be her first priority. She only had a week left until the summer.  
  
She sighed and headed upstairs, hoping she would be able to concentrate on the work.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Grace stared at the television, her mouth gaping open, as it showed some sort of gazelle birthing its fawn. It was the next evening and Eli was out again, leaving her at home by herself. Zoe plopped onto the couch next to her and cringed with disgust.  
  
"What are you watching??"  
  
Grace sighed, turning back to her books before her. "Something that is seriously making me rethink my original position on-"  
  
She stopped, noticing Zoe was hanging on her every syllable. It was probably best not to implant the word 'sex' into Zoe's vocabulary right next to 'Eli' and 'Grace' and 'going out'.  
  
"Never mind."  
  
"Can I change it?"  
  
"Yes, please."  
  
"Gracie, are you going to Zoe's talent show tomorrow?" Lily asked as she entered the living room and Zoe shook her head 'no'.  
  
"Why don't you want me to come?" she asked her sister.  
  
"It's lame," she muttered and Lily rolled her eyes.  
  
"It's going to be cute. Are you coming?"  
  
"No, I think I'll go over to Beth's house."  
  
"When are your finals?" she asked as she cleaned up the living room.  
  
"Next week."  
  
"You know, I can't believe that exchange program never wrote you back, Gracie."  
  
"I didn't get in; what's to write back?" she retorted.  
  
"They could have *told* you that."  
  
Grace shrugged and she wondered what Eli was doing. She was pretty sure he was out with Coop and two of the roadies, Ben and Orlando from what he'd mentioned earlier in the week. Before they were sort of fighting but not really fighting. *An argument*, she concluded. *We're just having a little argument.*  
  
"Jessie is going to her mother's house tomorrow," Lily announced. "I'm taking Zoe to the show and you're going to Beth's?"  
  
"Yeah," she said, but really began to imagine the possibilities. That made almost everyone out of the house.  
  
"Well, that leaves Eli here because Rick has to go out of town until Sunday."  
  
Grace stared blankly at her book, the words blurring as she wandered off in her thoughts. No one in the entire house? It was perfect. This was the best chance to sit Eli down and get him to tell her what is bothering him. And maybe they could go back to how they were before. Or, even better: act like a regular couple without being under the forever watchful eyes of their family.  
  
She grinned at the thought and couldn't wait until tomorrow.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
"Just sit for a second," Grace instructed as she sat the newly blindfolded Eli on his bed. He exhaled, feigning annoyance but it was actually kind of fun. She told him yesterday that she wanted to hang out with him that night. The house was empty, thankfully. She had made him stay in the living room watching TV for an hour as she ran about then put the blindfold on him and led him out to his room.  
  
"Can I take it off yet?" he asked the darkness behind the cloth.  
  
"No!" she snapped and he couldn't help but smile a little. She was definitely going through a lot of trouble but, honestly, it was the first night the house had ever been empty with both of them there, alone, so it was special. She'd planned something, apparently.  
  
He heard her rustle around and leaned against his legs as he waited.  
  
"Okay," she smiled. "Wait! No, okay."  
  
Eli slowly lifted the bandanna covering his eyes and looked at his room. His mouth fell in amazement as he gazed over it; the room which two hours ago was as dirty as usual was now spotless. The floor was clear and the bed was nicely made.  
  
"Oh god... it's never been this clean," he admitted.  
  
"Well, I didn't really want to go through all your things so a lot of it is just shoved into your closet," she shrugged as she stood to the side.  
  
He smiled at her then and said, "Thanks."  
  
Grace sat next to him on the bed and started. "So. Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"  
  
"I was just tired," Eli shook his head then met her eyes. "I just want to be like a normal couple."  
  
She understood and didn't have to say so for him to know it. Grace leaned forward and kissed him smoothly. He held her face with one palm and it deepened.  
  
He missed her for the past few days. The other night Megean had planted the seed of doubt into him. He really cared about Grace but what if she *was* too innocent to be with him? What if she *never* got the nerve to go all the way? Would he be content to lay around, making out with her for however long they might have had left? Who knew when their parents might find out about them and then what? Maybe they'd be separated. Maybe they'd never have a chance to be together again. They were together now and he didn't understand, that night, why they didn't seize the only moment they were sure of: now.  
  
So maybe it was sort of a test when he went into her bedroom. And maybe she didn't pass with flying colors. That led him to think more and more about them. Was she too young; not by years but by experience? He'd retreated to be with his friends, avoiding her as much as he could but when she specifically told him to be there Friday night, he knew he couldn't avoid her anymore.  
  
But as he waited in the living room for her to finish whatever surprise she had planned, he remembered why he liked her so much. She ran about the house, in a fluster, going through all the trouble for him. It made him remember that her experience didn't matter; it was actually more appealing to know she *hadn't* been with other guys. And what random nobodies thought also didn't matter. They didn't know how she kind of warmed his heart when she smiled at him a certain way. They didn't know that he found himself thinking about her in the middle of the day for no reason. They didn't know that it pained him to fight with her like no other relationship ever had. And they certainly didn't know that all these things were leading up to something even he wasn't sure he could face for the first time.  
  
Eli came back to the now, savoring the sweet taste of her lip gloss and the hot slide of her tongue upon his own. He wanted to feel all of her, suspecting her whole body would be as soft as her skin felt beneath his hands. Soft and sweet, he began to imagine it all for the thousandth time.  
  
Grace's heart was pounding and she wanted to lie down, to pull him down with her and let him climb above her again. She'd never been more sure about anything- about any*one*. He was it and she felt it deep in the pit of her stomach.  
  
Eli's hand had strayed down her neck and slightly into her button-down shirt along her shoulder. He pulled back for a breath and accidentally caught a glimpse of the strap under her shirt.  
  
She opened her hazy eyes to find him pealing the shoulder of her shirt back more and examining the sheer pink strap beneath.  
  
"Is that-" his voice broke a little and she unintentionally blushed under his hot gaze.  
  
She nodded then crawled back onto the bed completely as he watched in awe. He slowly followed and laid next to her as she began to quietly unbutton the shirt. His hands slid across her tummy and started unbuttoning up from the bottom until it was finished and he parted it cautiously.  
  
That must have been the moment his stomach fell out because he wasn't sure he'd ever seen anything so beautiful. The garment was definitely sheer and it somehow only enhanced the sight of her breasts beneath.  
  
Self-conscious as he stared at her, Grace pulled him forward and kissed his lips fiercely. Her hands at his back dragged his T-shirt up until they broke their kiss to maneuver it off. He took that moment, after tossing the shirt aside, to gaze down at the stunning vision of her again. He watched his large hand slide up cup the lush breast softly and his mouth went dry with anticipation. While the transparent garment showed everything, it gave her a false sense of covering which made her more comfortable.  
  
Grace's arm was guiding him down, urging him to shift so that he lay between her legs. He didn't notice much; he was slowly kissing at the exposed cleft above the bra.  
  
Eli had slid the straps from her shoulders and pealed it down but she covered herself with his body and brought his mouth down to hers. He took her lips but noted how amazing her bare skin felt against his own. The bra came unhooked under his fingers and his hands explored without sight, the slope of her firm breasts, the hot flush of her skin. He would have to stop very soon in order to keep from going too far.  
  
Grace's hands were trailing down his strong back and met with the jeans he wore. He was kissing her heavily and his hands were now caressing all over herself exposed but she had a little of her wits about her still. Not much, but a little.  
  
She reached between them, finding the button to his jeans and swiftly undoing it, making quick work of the rest of the fastener.  
  
Eli had stopped kissing her and had nearly froze when he felt her hand at his trousers, brushing so close to him. Her hands were hooked into the back of his jeans, ready to tug them down when he faced her gently, cupping her cheek in his hand.  
  
"Grace," he whispered and her misty eyes stared up at him.  
  
She knew he would stop; that he was telling her she didn't have to do anything to make him happy. And for the first time since they had begun this thing they had started two months ago, she hadn't even thought about what would make him happy. She wanted to do this, now, with him, more than anything else. And she was sure he could see that in her eyes with the way he accepted her silent answer.  
  
Eli pushed back and a flutter of fear came into her, thinking he was going to reject her. Instead, he turned to sit and folded the covers down then scooted out of his jeans leaving the boxers as his only clothing. He let her slide beneath the sheet and he gently moved above her again, only this time, he edged down so that he faced her tummy. His hands patiently worked at her own jeans then pulled them down her slender legs, touching the length of them as he did. He was right; she was soft all over.  
  
He came up to her again, pulling the sheet to cover them and kissed her fully. She felt his hot hands glide over her hips, taking the panties with them, until she had to kick them off.  
  
Her arms were holding him close to her and he kissed where her neck met her shoulder. He had shifted between her so her legs were free and his hand calmly trailed down. His careful touch came up her inner thigh and traced her center slowly. Her eyes were shut as he gazed down at her then kissed at her collar lazily. The hand controlling her every thought ran over her again and again until he stopped and she opened her eyes.  
  
He was staring at her, his pupils dilated with desire, as one tapered finger slid inside without haste. Grace gasped a little and he watched every reaction upon her face. His hand slowly pulled out only to return to the warm burrow once more.  
  
Her eyes closed again but it was not from embarrassment. His index finger had been joined by the one next to it and it gently stretched her, sweetly. The heel of his hand was now also rubbing along with his ministrations at the core he manipulated. The pulsing of her body was steadily building; she felt heated all over; and her hips had tilted to allow him a better angle with which to stroke that one spot. His long fingers were thrusting inside now, a bit faster and she was making soft whimpering noises due to it.  
  
Eli pulled back, his own breathing shortened just from watching her body flush with excitement. He was afraid he was too close so he had to stop for a moment and catch his breath.  
  
She had opened her eyes then reached forward, tugging his boxers down carefully. He sat aside to kick the shorts away then saw her observing him closely. Now he was afraid he might blush.  
  
Before he could say something, anything, to break the silence, her hand reached forward, splaying across his chest. It slowly descended to his hard abdomen then stopped. He knew she couldn't-  
  
Grace's hand suddenly wrapped around his rigid member and he silently gasped at the feel of her small hand touching him. She gripped it, experimentally, then stroked up along the length of him.  
  
Eli thought he just might lose his mind. While she was busy testing new waters, he was the one under her all-powerful hand, praying she might grasp him just a little harder and maybe tug a little bit.  
  
She heard him moan when her hold tightened and her stomach flipped from the effect she was having on him. It was so soft yet so solid beneath her curious hand.  
  
He groaned again when she stroked him more firm then she was amazed to see a drop of liquid seep from him.  
  
"oh god," he moaned, urging her hand away. "I've got to put something on."  
  
Eli turned to the dresser next to his bed, hauling open the drawer without ceremony. His hand fumbled until it found a box and she watched the foil packet appear from it. He handled it swiftly enough and lightly rolled into place.  
  
When he faced her, she looked up, the edge of worry now in her mind. He was quite larger than two fingers. What if she wasn't really prepared?  
  
He leaned forward, holding her face as his mouth took hers and it all felt natural again; kissing him, wanting to hold him next to her.  
  
She slid down as he followed and her legs instinctively shifted to cradle his thighs between. She could feel the stiff press of him at her inner thigh and he gently kissed at her lips. Grace looked up at him and he tenderly assured her. "Slow," he murmured. "We'll go slow."  
  
She nodded slightly and felt him guide himself to her center. Grace relaxed at first until the measured penetration began to stretch her tightly. She clutched his shoulders, her nails digging into his back, as he drove ahead, a little at a time.  
  
She was whimpering and breathing heavily beneath him but it was almost over. She was so amazingly tight, clutching him inside like he'd never felt before. His head was pounding from holding back; going slow; but he was nearly completely in. He felt her legs tighten around his thighs and took the moment to thrust home. It drew a startled cry from her and he instantly kissed at her lips, her cheek and jaw, anything, as he rambled, "grace, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry; but it always... it hurts the first time... I'm so sorry..."  
  
They lay, locked together, for long moments as she gathered herself, her breathing slowing down. It did hurt, but she expected it; knew it was coming. It was just a new pain and she had been momentarily shocked. It was receding slightly already.  
  
Eli slowly pushed up on his arms as she gazed at him. He looked ashamed and embarrassed as he began to pull away. Grace embraced his shoulders, not letting him go. When she kissed him, he hesitated for a second. Realizing she did not want to stop, he softly returned the kiss until he felt her inner muscles clench around him. He moaned and her legs hooked around his thighs again.  
  
"grace, I can't," he whispered into her neck. "You won't... I mean, you probably won't..."  
  
She knew she probably wouldn't come. But there was always next time for that. Now, she wanted his ache to end and that was all.  
  
Grace brought his mouth to hers again and she pushed against his hips, moving him slightly. His moan was lost in her as he tediously withdrew only to return again. She knew he was proceeding slowly for her but there was no need; her pain had dissipated much and she was realizing how wonderful this really felt.  
  
Eli was close but she was gently moaning with his thrusts. He held her backside firmly to him and rolled them so that she lay on top of him. Grace peered down at him, puzzled, and he shifted her legs carefully so that she straddled him proper. His hips pushed up into her and this position suddenly stroked that spot inside of her so well. His hands gripped her thighs, guiding her short, firm thrusts. She had leaned forward, nearly pressing into his chest.  
  
The urgent tightening at her core grew, demanding more and more until it broke over her completely, the shock waves going throughout her body and down through her legs, making her shake from it.  
  
Eli held her to him again and rolled them back so that he mounted her. She had grasped him inside of her so tightly, he thought he might burst when he felt her come. Somehow, he held on but couldn't anymore after he climbed on top. He was mindlessly pumping into her, wanting only the sweet conclusion he'd dreamed of with her. Grace's arms held his powerful shoulders as they flexed and her legs wrapped around his and that was enough for him. He thrust into her hard only a few more times before he shattered and exploded with a groan of release.  
  
Her arms were still lazily holding him when he collapsed on top of her then rolled aside. Silently discarding the protection, he wearily crumpled onto the bed next to her. She softly turned and smoothed against him, her head resting on his slowing chest. He pulled her as close as she could get, positioning the cover over them then resting back.  
  
Her eyes closed softly as the comfortable warmth of them together slowed the pace of her pounding heart. Eli's hand ran down her hair, pulling it aside and Grace distinctly felt him kiss the top of her head before sleep drifted upon her.  
  
  
  
  
... 


	10. Near You Always

You guys are amazing and I am *still* living off your every words. That being said, I should explain about the rating, I think. #1. When I think NC-17, I think *porn* with all those nasty words and awkward positions. Lol. So I didn't use any of that in the story. #2. The guidelines next to an "R" and an "NC-17" are actually exactly the same... "R - Not suitable for children under 17" and "NC-17 - No children under 17". So. If you're under 17, you shouldn't be reading! =) that's the law. *snort*  
  
Anyway, I read every single note you guys leave and don't worry (max_452): no one is getting pregnant! Lol. Thank you for all of your support. Again, I wouldn't write if you didn't read. =) Carry on...  
  
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Eli's eyes slit open under the light of the room seeping in through the window. He glanced down to find Grace quietly dozing on top of his chest, his arm slung over her back to hold her near.  
  
He looked out toward the window and saw the sun was definitely up. The clock was slightly turned away so he slowly reached over to see.  
  
Grace made a small sound and he looked to her again. Her eyes were barely opening and it took her a minute to remember where she was. She sluggishly met his gaze then registered everything quickly.  
  
With the slightest of embarrassed smiles, Grace pulled back, hugging the sheet to her chest, and took in the rest of the environment. It was very light outside...  
  
"What time is it?" her sleep filled voice scratched.  
  
Eli reached over fully and turned the clock face to them.  
  
"Ten thirty."  
  
She sat up, waking more, and said, "I've got to go back before my mother calls Beth's house looking for me."  
  
"Wait," he quietly requested.  
  
"I can't; she usually calls around eleven," Grace explained but Eli's hand wrapped around her arm and gently tugged her down.  
  
"Just a few minutes," Eli's husky morning voice murmured near her ear. He softly spoon held her in his arms and she relaxed a little. It was still new to lie with him, naked, but she had the sheet strategically wrapped about her. It eased her nerves a good deal.  
  
Eli's warm body snugly fitted against hers further comforted her. She still couldn't really believe what had happened. It had really, finally happened and it was with the one person she had always wanted it to be with. She'd never felt more safe than she did with his arms around her.  
  
Grace's eyes closed and she pulled his arm against her tightly. He sighed as he rested, loving holding her with him. He'd never really woken up with someone like this. With Jen they were so young and it was awkward. Then Carla was not one for cuddling. No one he'd been with had stuck around all night and just *slept* with him. But Grace did. And she wanted to be there with just him, for no other reason than himself.  
  
Her fingers entwined with his and he couldn't stop the intense feeling of happiness that came upon him. It was more than he ever felt for Carla and he thought he was in love with her.  
  
Eli's thoughts slowed at the L-word. It wasn't that. Nah. It was best not to think about that.  
  
He wanted to say something to her but the safe phrases that included words like 'care about you' and 'like you' seemed wrong and ultimately untrue.  
  
Before he could stop himself, the words had already started out of his mouth.  
  
"Grace, I..."  
  
Her eyes opened, staring ahead and she froze. He didn't start a sentence in that soft, serious tone with her name if it wasn't important. She didn't know what he might say but she sensed the weightiness of it. She could feel his hand gently at her stomach, his warm body nestled with hers and his breath that seemed to catch in his throat when he spoke.  
  
Eli couldn't get his mouth to keep moving. He knew what was coming even if a conscious effort to avoid saying the L-word was not working. So even as his frightened-of-rejection brain was screaming for him to shut up, his stupid, warm, blossoming heart was making him talk. Maybe at the last second, his brain shut his heart up for a minute.  
  
"I... think we should probably get up," he finished and she could tell he had tried but something just hadn't worked.  
  
She nodded at his suggestion and began to slide to the edge of the bed. Still holding the sheet to her, she saw he was watching a little and it unnerved her. Just because she did it once did not mean she was ready to go prancing around naked.  
  
"Could you... turn around or something?" she asked and he did so with a small smile.  
  
As she gathered her clothes behind him, Eli sat at the other edge of the bed and stared forward. He was about to say the L-word, specifically after he'd told himself not to. This was dangerous territory; he'd never told anyone that before. They still hadn't told their parents yet and he was about to make heavy declarations?  
  
It bothered him, that was for sure. He wouldn't deny what he was feeling but maybe he could just keep it to himself for awhile. No point in blabbing about it.  
  
"Okay," Grace said, indicating she was dressed and he faced her again.  
  
"How are you going to fake your mom out?"  
  
"I was going to sneak in and pretend she didn't hear me come home," she trailed. "Is that lame?"  
  
Eli shook his head 'no' and she rolled her eyes.  
  
"I guess I could have thought this through more."  
  
"I think it was perfect," he murmured and she uneasily smiled. Eli took her hand and drew her forward until their lips met sweetly.  
  
They parted slowly and he wanted to say it again. Those three dreaded words were just balancing on the tip of his tongue.  
  
Instead, he forced himself to scoot back and say, "I'll see you inside."  
  
She happily smiled and left his room, leaving him to stew over the fact that he really wanted to tell Grace that he loved her.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Lily arranged the napkin over her lap as Rick, Jessie and Zoe sat around the restaurant table.  
  
"Jessie, are you prepared for finals?" she asked her stepdaughter.  
  
"Yeah," she nodded. "They're not that hard."  
  
"That's great. Grace has a lot of work this year," she replied then paused. "Didn't Grace say she was going to the bathroom? That was five minutes ago."  
  
Zoe glanced at Jessie who also instantly knew that Eli and Grace being gone was suspicious to those looking for the signs.  
  
"I'll go look for her," Zoe popped out of her seat.  
  
Lily looked at her oddly but said, "Okay."  
  
Eli had excused himself for a smoke, getting a hard, disapproving look from his father, as he had left the table. He didn't really smoke, it was just a good excuse to get away.  
  
Zoe headed through the restaurant, back towards the bathroom.  
*  
Grace was in between that feeling of blissfully falling and dizzying joy as she and Eli drank at one another, slowly and sweetly.  
  
He absorbed her completely as they leaned against the wall in the last bathroom stall of the ladies room. None of the other people coming and going seemed to matter as their attentions were focused only on each other.  
  
Their bodies floated near the other, the warmth touching at them comfortingly. But it was unhurried, the kisses lazily existing merely to keep them together. The craving to touch somehow, any way, to reassure the other that they were going nowhere, was so much stronger now.  
  
Eli swept away the hair that fell over her brow and his lips gently sipped at hers.  
  
The door to the washroom opened again, without their notice.  
  
Zoe glanced around the empty bathroom then crouched down to see under the doors. She saw the two sets of legs in the first stall and she sighed.  
  
Standing, Zoe waited for them to come out, caught. She waited. Then waited some more.  
  
Irritated, Zoe exhaled noisily. "Grace!"  
  
Grace and Eli slowly parted lips but still gazed at one another. Eli absently traced down her temple and cheek as a small smile edged his mouth.  
  
"Mom is looking for you!" Zoe added on to increase urgency.  
  
He leaned forward and pecked her lips softly. She urged him out and he opened the door. Zoe glared at him with annoyance but he merely gave her a calm smile.  
  
"Hey Zo," he greeted and walked past her, leaving the washroom.  
  
She watched Grace exit the stall, still irritated.  
  
"I don't have to keep you guys a secret, you know," Zoe blurted and Grace slowed to face her sister. "Jessie and Judy know already!"  
  
"Yeah, because you *told* Judy," Grace remarked.  
  
"So? I'm going to go tell Mom."  
  
Zoe turned but Grace softly held her arm and faced her, in all seriousness.  
  
"Zoe, if you tell Mom, they're going to make Eli leave. And they won't let me see him anymore," she tried to explain. She looked deep into her sister's eyes. "If you don't ever do anything else in your life for me, just please do this."  
  
Zoe hesitated, seeing the raw pleading in Grace's expression. She visually resigned to stay quiet and Grace exhaled with relief.  
  
"When are you going to tell them?" Zoe asked.  
  
Grace sighed, gazing off distantly. "Soon."  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Lily swiped the wash rag over the coffee table near the door in the living room. She noticed a slip of paper in between the table and the wall on the floor. Carefully maneuvering it out, she found it was a piece of mail; an envelope addressed to Grace.  
  
"Grace!" she called out and her daughter came in from the dining room.  
  
"What?"  
  
"This letter is for you; it's from the exchange program." Lily held it out and Grace's brow furrowed as she went to it.  
  
"When did we get mail? It's Sunday."  
  
"I found it fell through the crack next to the wall."  
  
Grace's face fell. "You mean it's been sitting here for who knows how long?"  
  
"Open it," Lily instructed hastily as Grace ripped the letter open.Her eyes scanned over it quickly as Lily impatiently waited. "What does it say??"  
  
"It says I was accepted," Grace murmured in shock.  
  
"Oh my god!" Lily smiled.  
  
"...and the deadline to confirm my acceptance is in two days," she finished.  
  
Lily paused. "Well. We can FedEx it! It'll make it!"  
  
Grace knew she was right but it was still a shock. She had applied to the program three months ago and had heard nothing from them so she assumed they'd rejected her. Little did she know the acceptance letter was hiding in her living room the whole time.  
  
None of that mattered, though. The fact was, she had been accepted to spend the summer in France with a group of other students to study and tour the country. It was an amazing opportunity; she'd never been out of the U.S. before. It was what she had always wanted.  
  
Before Eli.  
  
They had talked about somehow getting away with separate excuses this summer and taking a road trip of their own. The entire summer was open for them and they could be alone without fear, completely free. And completely together.  
  
Grace gazed at the letter as her mother went on and on about how great this was. She was torn suddenly as to what to do. Could she leave Eli just to go tour France for the summer? If she left the trip and stayed with Eli would she constantly wish she were there, doing something new, experiencing Europe for the first time?  
  
She looked up and saw her mother waiting for her to say something but she had missed what was asked.  
  
"Mom, I just want to think about this for a little bit..." she murmured out.  
  
"Grace, you can't think about it for long; we'd have to FedEx it tomorrow for it to get there in time," Lily replied, confused at her daughter. "What is there to think about?"  
  
"I just..." Grace shrugged then nodded. "I'll know tomorrow."  
  
She retreated and Lily watched her leave up to her room.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Eli strummed at the guitar as he and Coop sat in the basement of Coop's house and the phone rang.  
  
Coop popped up and Eli plucked gently, keeping the noise down. He couldn't hear his friend from the other room so he kept on.  
  
Grace would be out of school after this week. He wasn't sure how they'd both get away, but he was already imagining driving across country with her. The thought of blowing the summer away with her, alone, made him smile a little.  
  
"Eli!" Coop yelled and he jolted.  
  
"What?"  
  
Coop ran into the room, out of breath, grinning wildly. "That was Ben on the phone- Will and Dave are dropping out for their next tour and he said we could come on!"  
  
"What?!" Eli grinned, sitting up suddenly.  
  
"He totally said we could roadie with them and they're doing Alien Ant Farm!" Coop exclaimed.  
  
"Holy shit- Are you serious??" Eli laughed.  
  
"Dude, we're gonna be roadies!!" Coop grabbed Eli's shoulders and shook him.  
  
They jumped up and down as Coop screamed happily.  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
"I can't believe you lucky sons of-" Ted muttered as Eli and Coop grinned at him. He and Wink leaned against his car in Eli's driveway as they hung out, discussing the details of Coop and Eli's good fortune. The tour was most of the summer and only two of them could go so they had been the ones Ben chose.  
  
Eli had wanted to rush home to tell Grace the news but Wink and Ted had driven up and stopped him from going in.  
  
"Roading, on tour, all summer with Alien Ant Farm," Wink shook his head with envy. "You assholes are going to have so much fun."  
  
"And groupies!" Ted realized suddenly. "They're going to be all over you guys to get backstage."  
  
"We're not going to be doing security," Eli noted. "We're loading up stuff."  
  
"Doesn't matter," Ted shrugged. "If you're with the tour, that's all they care about."  
  
"Yeah, too bad you can't bring your little girlfriend," Coop nudged teasingly.  
  
"Oh geez," Ted sighed then sarcastically continued, "yeah, too bad you're going to go hang around hot groupies and leave your twelve year old girlfriend at home."  
  
Eli just smiled at their teasing and Coop looked at him in disbelief.  
  
"Oh come on. You would not say no to a fine groupie because of some kid at home," he snorted.  
  
"Eli's going to get so much action," Wink enviously muttered.  
  
"Yeah, hot older chicks," Ted nodded. "How old is that girl anyway- isn't she in, like, junior high?"  
  
They laughed a little and Eli nodded, "Yeah, she's still in high school."  
  
"Dude, you're going to get college girls coming on to you," Ted snorted. "You know you're going to hit it."  
  
"Yeah maybe," Eli laughed.  
  
"Yeah right, 'maybe'. Kick Junior High to the curb; you've got college chicks now," he retorted and they all laughed.  
  
*  
  
Grace stared down at the grass as she stood, her back against the side of the house, around the corner from the driveway. She had snuck out the back to see if Eli had gone to his room when his car pulled in but had stopped when she heard the voices of his friends in the front. She was going to leave them and come back to his room later until she heard one of them say something about a summer tour.  
  
After that, she was captivated and had stayed hidden around the corner. They were laughing at her then and she had heard enough.  
  
She headed back for the house, the sound of Eli saying that he would be sleeping with groupies over the summer echoing in her mind as she went straight to the confirmation form for the exchange program. She grabbed it and sat, immediately filling it out, preparing for France.  
  
  
  
... 


	11. Say Something

Again and again, I tell you guys how much your feedback means to me. Do you get tired of hearing it? Too bad! You're all amazing and I seriously thank you with every fiber of my being. =) So this is the end. *sigh* Had to end sometime, right? =) Just remember everything I told you about my chapters (and the ends of them) and think of the title of this story when you come to the end. ) Oh, and the chapter title is the first non-Jewel; it's a song by a group called Haven. So, happy reading. =D *...*  
  
______________________________________________________  
  
  
  
Eli bounded into the house after his friends had finally left and he saw first his father, Lily and Grace in the living room.  
  
"What's going on, E? What were the guys doing outside?" his dad asked as they all watched him.  
  
He really wanted to pull Grace aside and tell her privately but all of their eyes, including hers, where hard on him so he shrugged.  
  
"I got a job."  
  
"Where?" Rick sat up with interest.  
  
"A roadie job. It's with the guys I've been hanging out with; they're going to tour with Alien Ant Farm for most of the summer," he grinned.  
  
His father looked kind of speechless along with Lily but he was more focused on Grace who simply wasn't looking at him. She was writing on something that he couldn't make out.  
  
"E, that's, uh..." his father slowly searched for the word. "Are you sure you should do that?"  
  
"It's a job, Dad. And it'll give me experience being around a professional group," he rationally explained.  
  
"I don't know, E..."  
  
His father was still talking about the hazards of being on tour with a band but he muted it out as he waited for some sort of reaction from Grace. Wouldn't she be happy? He just got one of the jobs of his dreams and it wouldn't be *all* summer. He'd be back in August. She wanted him to get a job he enjoyed; was she not showing any reaction because his father and Lily were there?  
  
Eli stopped his father from going on with a final, "I've decided to go, Dad. I know you may not think it's the best job for me but I want to do it and that's my decision."  
  
The room was cloaked in silence until Rick sighed. "You're an adult now, E, and I can't tell you want you can and can't do."  
  
Eli was a little surprised, but relieved he wouldn't get anymore flack from his father. He nodded his thanks and walked through for his room. As he past Grace, though, he lightly tugged on her sleeve, hoping she'd follow or join him soon after.  
  
He left for his room and waited for her to come out. He wanted her to come out and jump up and down and kiss him and be with him and share in his happiness. But she never came out. And the night came before he could go to her, unnoticed. Hating their limited circumstances, he vowed to speak with her as soon as he could tomorrow.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
The day dragged on and on for Grace as she stared at the clock in her last classroom. She had barely spoken to anyone all day, her emotions too overwhelming to allow idle chit chat with friends. She was angry yesterday; so angry she couldn't stand to look at him for laughing at her. But through the night it had turned to the cold sense of betrayal. Only three days ago they had been together and it had been the most important night of her life. Now he was boasting with his friends about the groupies he would sleep with in the coming months. It made her stomach churn.  
  
Then, as next day went on, her sickness at it all turned to a deep shame. How could she be so unbelievably stupid? She had believed that he wouldn't be like other guys; that he would love her and only want her, like all those stupid romantic movies always said. She only had herself to blame for building him up, believing that he was *the one*. She thought they were there, finally. In love. But the hard reality now seemed far from it.  
  
And slowly, the shame and scolding she felt at herself gradually transformed to sadness. Yesterday she had never been more happy and she knew now what everyone meant by it being shattered so quickly. And how deep it seriously pained her.  
  
The bell rang and Grace slowly slid from her desk to stand. Her friends had asked her that morning why she was so sluggish, detached and apathetic but she hadn't answered so they let her be.  
  
She rode the bus home in silence, staring at the seat in front of her, wishing she could disappear. Wishing she could stop the betrayal and the anguish that repeated again and again in her head. She wanted to hide and forget the world, just for the now.  
  
The bus stopped and Ann nudged her. "Grace, this is your stop."  
  
She slowly stood without acknowledging anyone and exited. A short walk later she came to her house. Rick and her mother's car were still gone, at work. She looked up at the house and it made her want to turn and be anywhere else.  
  
Grace took her time entering and shrugging her backpack, jacket and purse off. She would go to her room, pretend to study for her test tomorrow, and hope that a soul didn't disturb her unending grief.  
  
"Hey," Eli appeared suddenly from the living room as she passed and she froze momentarily. She kept on and he moved forward, holding her hand from going anywhere. "Grace. What is it?"  
  
He waited but she wouldn't look at him. Her eyes cast downward to the ground and her face was the most miserable mask he'd ever seen.  
  
"Is it because I'm going with the tour? Because that's not even all summer. I mean, I know what we talked about and I'm really sorry but I knew you would understand that with an opportunity like this, I would have to take it and... I'll be back in August..."  
  
He slowed his explanation when her had hand twisted out of his grip, retracting from him and breaking the contact. Eli watched her ignore him still and she started to go toward the stairs again.  
  
"Grace!" he stated more firmly, holding her arms and drawing her back into the living room.  
  
She jerked his arms off of her and muttered, "Let go of me."  
  
"What the hell is wrong?" he demanded in frustration. She had never looked so upset but she wouldn't say anything. It wasn't fair; he should at least know *why* she was so angry.  
  
He waited as she still kept her eyes away from his. But she finally spoke, low and wounded.  
  
"I heard you."  
  
"Heard me what?"  
  
Grace's eyes were slowly filling with unshed tears and she quietly replied, "I heard what you said with your friends."  
  
"What did I say?" he was honestly at a loss. He and his friends bullshit a lot so it was hard to tell what she had overheard.  
  
"You said you were going to leave me here to be with groupies," she answered then met his eyes for the first time with the real piece of information that had crushed her more than any other. "...your twelve year old girlfriend."  
  
Eli paused, remembering the guys teasing him about her age and talking about groupies.  
  
"I didn't say that," he replied and she turned away to leave. She wouldn't stand and let him lie to her face.  
  
Eli grabbed her arms again, making her face him and he repeated, "I didn't say that, Grace! Coop did. Or Ted or *someone*, I don't know. But *I* didn't say it."  
  
"You agreed," she disputed. "You laughed and said 'yeah, she is just in high school'. Like, yeah she's just a kid."  
  
He sighed, dropping his hands. She didn't understand that his stupid friends always teased someone about *some*thing and it was easier to agree to shut them up. If he had fought them about such a minor point, they would have never let up. "Grace, I didn't mean it like that-"  
  
"I don't care," she muttered, staring at the ground again and he watched her silent resolve.  
  
"What do you mean, you 'don't care'?" he put her on the spot, wanting clarification. "Grace?"  
  
The one thing she had been most insecure, most unsure of, in their relationship was this. She was always afraid she was too young for him, afraid he would realize she was too young and move on. And somehow he had found the one thing that struck deepest and hit it dead on.  
  
"It doesn't matter," she murmured. "You're going away, I'm going away, so who cares. We're not going to be together anymore anyway."  
  
"Where are you going?" he caught that little bit instantly.  
  
"I got in the exchange program; I'm going to France."  
  
"Since when??"  
  
"Since I mailed the letter this morning," she replied, apathetically.  
  
Eli stepped back, looking at her, perplexed. "So you're just going to go?"  
  
"*You're* just going to go," she shrugged.  
  
"Yeah but..." he didn't know what he should say next. They stood in silence for a moment before he began to stutter a little. "I mean, what? We're just going to both go separate ways and that's it? That can't be it. We can still-"  
  
"You're going to be on tour with all your groupies," she remarked tiredly.  
  
"I'm not going to sleep with groupies, okay?" he snapped with exasperation. "The guys are stupid and they're wrong. I won't do that, I swear."  
  
"sure."  
  
"Grace, why don't you believe me?" he asked firmly.  
  
"Because I *heard* you!" she raised her voice as her throat closed.  
  
"Because you heard me bullshitting with my friends?!" Eli snapped back.  
  
"Because I heard you laugh. I heard you say that I was 'just in high school'! I heard you say that you wanted to leave me here!" she exclaimed.  
  
"I didn't mean it!"  
  
"But you *said* it!" she cried.  
  
"I didn't *mean* it!" he shouted then covered his eyes with the heels of his hands in frustration as her face filled with falling tears.  
  
He looked to her as she covered her face, hiding her sobs.  
  
"grace, please," he desperately whispered, reaching for her. "I swear I didn't mean it. Please. please, say something."  
  
She softly pushed his hands away and went up the stairs.  
  
"grace," he quietly called, finding his own throat closing. "Grace!"  
  
She hurried and slipped into her room, shutting it firmly and locking the world away.  
  
Eli collapsed to sit on the stairway and held his head in his hands. What happened? Why couldn't he fix this? And why did he suddenly feel like everything was crumbling before his eyes?  
  
*  
*  
*  
  
Zoe opened her eyes to the darkness of her bedroom, hearing small noises floating through the silence of the night. She sat up and slid from the bed, softly padding over to the bathroom door that connected hers and Grace's room. She leaned into it, setting her ear against the wood.  
  
Zoe slowly opened the bathroom door and took in the scene. Grace was sat on the floor, her legs curled up to her chest, as her face hid against her knee. Her body gently trembled as another quiet weep escaped her and she attempted to mute herself with a hand.  
  
She gained sight of her sister, then, and immediately wiped her tear streaked face.  
  
"Zoe, go back to sleep," she uttered, her voice rough from crying.  
  
Grace still cleaned at her face as Zoe watched her sister. She silently entered the bathroom then crouched next to Grace and gently set her arms around her.  
  
It only made Grace cry more but she touched Zoe's arm round her, grateful to have someone comfort her, now, when she needed it most.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
Eli tapped his foot as he leaned against his car in the school parking lot. He hadn't slept much last night; he should have just snuck in her room but he knew he couldn't have this conversation in hushed tones and whispering.  
  
He had to convince her that he didn't mean anything he'd said to his stupid friends. If *he* thought she was 'too young', he wouldn't be with her. That was never an issue to him; they were too close in age. He didn't understand why she didn't believe that it wasn't an issue for him.  
  
Okay, granted, he did actually insinuate that it was an issue, to Coop, Wink and Ted and she had *heard* him say it. But didn't she know that guys were always full of it around their friends?  
  
The school bell rang and soon after, kids began filtering out. He didn't want to bother her because he knew she had heavy school-stuff to worry about this week with finals, but she would leave Sunday morning and there wasn't enough time.  
  
He saw her exit the school, one of her friends with her, but she wasn't smiling or chatting with her friend. Instead, she looked just as miserable as she had yesterday.  
  
The friend next to her nudged Grace and motioned to him. She looked over then slowly went on, towards the bus. He sighed.  
  
Eli jogged to them before she could get to the bus. "Grace, wait."  
  
He saw her closer, then, and her beautiful eyes were slightly reddened and the beginnings of lines underneath them were creeping up.  
  
"I'll be in here," Ann said and entered the bus.  
  
He urged Grace away from the kids entering the bus to a little more private area.  
  
"You can't just ignore me forever," he said.  
  
"I don't want to talk to you," Grace murmured.  
  
"Okay, don't talk; just listen," he agreed then found that she complied. He was a little surprised at how easy that was and couldn't decide where to start. "Everything happened so fast, I just want to stop and get everything explained. Okay, first: I swear to God, I would never say something to hurt you and it was really stupid, I know that. My friends are idiots, *you* know that."  
  
Grace glanced off at the bus and he saw it wasn't making a dent in her opinion.  
  
"I don't know how many times I can tell you that I was just going along with what they were saying to shut them up. If I thought you were too young, I wouldn't be with you," he added. "I'd be with that girl that your mother set me up with but I don't want anyone else. I'm with *you* because..."  
  
Grace looked up at him then because it was that awkward moment when his throat seemed to close and he couldn't say anything past it. He gave up and lowered his eyes to the ground.  
  
*So he couldn't, or wouldn't, list any reason why he's with me*, she thought. Maybe he'd wanted to say something nice but his conscience wouldn't let him lie to her face. Again.  
  
"Because I'm convenient?" Grace supplied and his head shot up in amazement.  
  
"No," he disputed and she looked away in disbelief. "Listen, I don't want to separate this summer."  
  
"I'm going already; I have my plane tickets," she replied.  
  
"I know you're going," he murmured a bit sadly at her rash decision. "But what I mean is, I don't want to split up. I don't want to break up."  
  
"Yeah right, Eli," she muttered, facing him and sarcastically added, "You want to keep going out with me while you're surrounded by 'hot college groupies' on your summer concert tour."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Grace snickered in disbelief but found that he faced her, completely serious.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I..."  
  
There was that sentence, again, that would never finish. She waited a moment until a call across the lawn from the school entrance came.  
  
"Grace! Ms.Liddy needs some help carrying stuff out," Beth called. "Can you help?"  
  
Eli sighed as Grace nodded to her friend and the bus pulled away from the curb. She turned to go back to the school but he spoke.  
  
"Wait, so what about us?"  
  
She sadly shrugged. "I don't know."  
  
Grace started off as he watched.  
  
"I'm not going to give up," he called behind her. "I won't!"  
  
She momentarily closed her eyes to ward off the tears that were threatening to return. She couldn't confront all of this now, at her school. It would have to wait until later.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
"Don't forget your umbrella," Lily added as Grace stuffed her suitcase with another pair of tennis shoes.  
  
"I know, Mom," she murmured and grabbed the umbrella she was surely going to forget.  
  
Zoe was sitting on her bed next to the suitcase, toying with the camera that Rick was lending to Grace for the trip.  
  
"It's for the whole summer?" she asked.  
  
"Yes," Grace answered again, taking the camera and packing it into the bag.  
  
"Can I come visit?" Zoe grinned.  
  
"I don't think that's really allowed," she replied apologetically and Zoe frowned. Lily started rearranging the things in the suitcase again and Grace sighed. This was hard for her mother, she could tell.  
  
She glanced over at her door and saw Eli slowly stop inside the doorway. He had left her to worry about her school for the whole week and she got through her finals, somehow. It was Saturday now, though, and they hadn't resolved anything.  
  
Grace had thought all week about what she wanted to do. She had decided to believe him about the comments he made, though; it seemed likely that his friends were just talking and he didn't mean what he said.  
  
But that didn't change the fact that she was leaving tomorrow and he would be going a week later to tour. After going over every scenario, she realized it would be selfish to ask him to stay with her over the long summer. He would be with his friends and would want to have fun, whatever that might ensue. As much as she hated it, she had no right to ask him to stay tied to her and he would only resent her later for making him do so. It was best to separate and in the fall, who knew? Maybe they'd get back together.  
  
Eli glanced at Lily in the room and knew he couldn't speak freely. Grace noticed and said, "Mom, could you grab my sandals?"  
  
"Where are they?"  
  
"I think they're in the kitchen."  
  
Lily left to get them and Eli entered.  
  
"She's coming back, so..." Grace trailed.  
  
"Yeah," he knew he had to rush and it didn't matter that Zoe was there. His attention was on Grace alone. "We'll just stay together and when you come back we'll still be together."  
  
"Eli," she sighed. "You're not going to want to worry about me when you're on tour with your friends."  
  
"That's my decision, okay? You don't get to make that decision for me," he noted.  
  
Grace stared at him and he was still standing firm to his plan. She couldn't let him ruin his summer and hate her later on for it. She wanted to be with him too badly to let it be ruined like this.  
  
"Okay," she murmured and he started to smile before she continued, "*If* you're at the airport tomorrow morning, I'll know you really want to be with me. So then we'll stay together. If you're not there... we'll just separate and do whatever we want this summer. And in the fall, we'll both be back."  
  
"What time?" he confidently inquired.  
  
"Eleven."  
  
"I'll be there," Eli smiled. He leaned forward and held her cheek gently as he kissed her smoothly. She'd forgotten over the past week how much she loved being kissed by Eli to her very bones. He made time stand still and she instantly wished things were different; that he wasn't going on tour, that they could be together freely, that she wouldn't be without him for the months ahead.  
  
He grinned again against her lips then kissed her side temple, whispering, "I'll be there."  
  
He moved away when Lily's footsteps were heard coming up the stairs and he left with a smile still planted on his face. Grace watched him go, sadly, as she stood in the middle of her room.  
  
"Grace-" Zoe scolded with shock.  
  
"Zoe," she stopped her from going on. "It's what's best."  
  
Lily entered and went to the closet. "Grace, your sandals are right here!"  
  
"Sorry," she replied, taking them and setting them in the suitcase. Zoe looked at her with an angry frown and Grace felt bad that she couldn't explain to her little sister the circumstances that made her do the things she did.  
  
Zoe pushed off the bed in a huff and stormed out of the room. Lily watched her go then said, "What happened?"  
  
Grace shrugged, "I don't know."  
  
"She's probably sad to see you go," Lily said as Grace gazed at her filled suitcase, thinking about tomorrow morning, wondering if she'd done the right thing.  
  
"yeah maybe," she murmured to answer her mother then shut the top on her bag.  
  
*  
*  
*  
*  
  
"Is this the last one?" Rick whispered and Grace nodded as she handed her suitcase to him for it to be taken out to the car. They kept quiet as Jessie and Zoe were still asleep at three thirty in the morning.  
  
Her flight was leaving at 5:30am and Rick packed up the car as her mother had made her a quick bite to eat. She'd said her goodbyes to Zoe and Jessie last night and Zoe had forgiven her, knowing she would be gone for the next three months and it was best to forgive before a parting like that. Jessie had wished her good luck and sincerely hoped she had a good time.  
  
When Rick had asked where Eli was last night, why wasn't he saying goodbye, Grace assured him she'd already said goodbye to him. It was a lie, of course. He'd stayed in his room last night, as usual and simply waited for the next day to go to the airport, prove his devotion and say goodbye to her. Now Eli thought she would be leaving in eight hours so he was peacefully asleep, like the others.  
  
"Ready?" Lily asked and Grace nodded, grabbing her carry-on bag.  
  
She had concocted the foolproof way to get him to separate with her in a moment. She had mislead him purposely, knowing he wouldn't come to the airport (or would, but would miss her, regardless). She would then leave and they would be separated.  
  
Or... maybe.  
  
Fate might just play a role and maybe, somehow, things would be different. That's what had made her write out a sentence on a scrap of paper and stick it in her pocket that morning: the glimmer of hope that was fate. Either way, if he showed up or not, things would work out. If he didn't, as she expected, he would be free and she could look forward to the fall when they both came home again. If he did show... well, she wasn't sure what would happen then.  
  
Lily let her exit the front door and she locked it behind them as Rick closed the back of his truck. Grace saw it was still pitch black outside and it reminded her how little of a chance there was that Eli would ever make it to the airport. He'd have to be psychic to know that she had given him the wrong time. Still, as her fingers absently twirled the piece of paper in her pocket, she consciously reassured herself that was absolutely no way he would make it.  
  
They all climbed into the car and Rick pulled out of the driveway. Grace took one last glance at the garage, knowing he was sound asleep inside of it and sadly cast a final thought.  
  
*Goodbye, Eli.*  
  
  
  
... 


	12. La Cienega Just Smiled

=) This the real end. The real *real* end. Of *this* story, at least. Summers come and go, you know. =) The chapter title is from Ryan Adams' CD Gold; it can (and should) be played during the end of this, the final, chapter. I'm going to miss posting for you guys. :~( You've been incredible and words can't express my gratitude. Thank you so much for being there. =) I recommend you read the last part of Chapter 11 to keep up (because this moves right after it, and fast too). So, happy reading and I'll see you again! Love, Link. =)  
  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
La Cienega Just Smiled  
______________________________________________________________________  
  
  
  
Something brought Eli out of his sleep to wake and he heard the sound of a cat screeching outside his window. The cat was in a fight. Wait, did they have a cat? Did the neighbors have a cat?  
  
He groaned at the intrusion to his blessed sleep and squinted at the clock. It wasn't right to be awake at 4:30am on a Sunday. It just seemed *wrong*.  
  
The cat screeched again and he bolted up in his bed, vowing to scare away the disruptive animals so he could go back to sleep.  
  
Silence came from outside and he exhaled noisily, falling back onto his bed. His mind began to wander as it had for the past week every time he laid back into his bed. He went over that night she had spent with him a thousand times in his mind, trying to brand every moment to memory.  
  
He sighed contentedly at the thought. It was Grace's last morning there for months. He wouldn't be able to see her, touch her face, kiss her lips... The more he thought about it, the more he wondered why he wasn't spending every second he could with her. Just to lie with her would be enough.  
  
Eli smiled and rolled off his bed, stepping into an old pair of his jeans and slipping a tank over his head. He lazily left the room, still half asleep and yawned as he entered the backdoor of the house. His eyes were adjusted to the darkness and he easily moved through to the upstairs, walking over the creaking stair, and softly going to her door. He lightly knocked their knock even though the door was slightly ajar. He opened it, slowly peeking in, then froze.  
  
The room was empty, the bed itself empty and made up. Eli's eyes blinked a few times, driving the sleep from them as he entered the vacant bedroom. He was suddenly becoming very awake.  
  
There was no suitcase, no shoes, no clothes lying about. His heart was suddenly pounding and he rushed out of the room, dashing down the stairway. He pulled the curtain in the living room aside swiftly and saw his fathers truck was gone.  
  
Eli suddenly felt helpless; they were gone. What had happened??  
  
He bounded back up the stairs and went to the door, knocking then entering quickly. He went to the bed and crouched next to it.  
  
"Zoe," he gently said but with urgency.  
  
She groaned a little in her sleep but he lightly rattled her arm.  
  
"Zoe, where's Grace?" Her eyes opened and saw him next to her bed, desperate and searching. He said it again, "Where's Grace?"  
  
"The airport," she quietly replied.  
  
"What??" he snapped. "Her plane leaves at eleven!"  
  
Zoe grimaced a little and said, "It leaves at five thirty."  
  
Eli was shocked, motionless, for a minute but everything came back and he shot up and immediately darted out of the room.  
  
*  
*  
  
"Do you want something to drink?" Lily asked as they sat in the waiting area. Grace would have to go on by herself soon as only the passengers were allowed past a certain point.  
  
"I'm fine, Mom," she murmured.  
  
"You're going to call the second you get in," her mother reminded and Grace nodded. She glanced at her mother and Rick who had brought her to the airport; she was grateful. She'd stopped playing with the piece of paper in her pocket, realizing it was stupid to set herself up for disappointment. She did that a lot.  
  
Grace looked up at the big clock and saw it was 5am.  
  
"I should probably go find my gate; they're going to board soon," she said then and they all stood.  
  
Her mother was already tearing up so she hugged Rick first, thanking him for going out of his way so much for her. She embraced her mother then and held her tightly, always hating to part with her. Her mother was still one of, if not the, most important people in her life.  
  
She was crying, scared now at the prospect of leaving home to go to some foreign country alone. She hugged her mother for a long time before drawing back and seeing the same tears reflected in Lily's eyes.  
  
Grace wiped her eyes and bravely smiled at them as Rick settled his arm around Lily's shoulders, comfortingly.  
  
"I'll call you as soon as I get there," she assured them and Lily nodded, unable to speak well.  
  
She began to turn to the passenger entry when a person out of the corner of her eye caught her attention. She froze when she saw him run into the terminal and her breath stopped.  
  
Eli saw them, then, standing there and he met her stunned look. He went to them and his father turned to face him.  
  
"E, what are you doing here?"  
  
"I... slept in," he made up to them but didn't leave Grace's gaze. She was in blind wonder, her mouth gaping at the sight of him.  
  
"We didn't know you were coming," Rick went on.  
  
"Yeah, I didn't say goodbye or anything," he explained.  
  
He stood there, real, in person. She hadn't even let herself believe that by some miracle he would show up. But here he was, before her very eyes and she still could hardly believe it. Her heart felt filled to the brim and overflowing for him. She'd never loved anyone so much in her life.  
  
Eli saw she was still staring at him, astonished. He wanted to say so many things, ask her how she could sacrifice her own happiness for his, tell her that a million other girls couldn't pain his heart like she could with one glance and that he couldn't be anywhere else but with her, from now on.  
  
He noticed then the silence that had engulfed them as they stared at one another and his father and Lily were still next to them, watching.  
  
Eli moved to her then and hugged her 'goodbye', as he was supposed to do. Grace felt his arms that had held her a hundred times wrap around her waist and she held him tightly. Yesterday she had looked at him with 'goodbye' but this was not that. She felt renewed and so happy; this was not 'goodbye' - this was, 'I'll be here when you get back'.  
  
His strong hand was pressed against her back as he held her to him, breathing her in for the last time in months. He wanted to tell her everything, but mostly that she possessed his heart and forever would.  
  
Grace saw her mother and Rick watching them hug and she didn't want this issue to come up now. He felt her arms loosen as she was about to pull away so he lightly turned so that his lips hovered near her ear and whispered on a breath:  
  
"I love you."  
  
Grace's face crumbled to tears as she pulled back and he met her gaze calmly. Her hands slid down his arms, keeping contact with him as long as she could. When her hand reached his, he felt a slip of paper planted into his palm which he enclosed without question.  
  
She cleared her tears and looking up to him, his back facing his father and Lily. He gently mouthed the words again, 'I love you.'  
  
Grace smiled brightly at him and his heart flipped over at the shine in her eyes now. She glanced at the pair behind him and muted her happiness.  
  
She hesitantly turned and headed for the passenger entrance, the tunnel that had a clerk to check tickets before admitting people.  
  
Eli watched her go then remembered the paper in his hand. He discreetly looked down at it, finding it only a blank scrap of notebook paper. Upon flipping it over, he found the writing:  
  
'I love you.'  
  
Eli grinned and raised his head, seeing her ticket being checked. The clerk motioned for her to enter and she gave them one last look. He was still smiling and she saw he was holding the paper she had written out for him, just in case he had shown up.  
  
Grace raised her hand and waved goodbye. She made sure he was the last thing she saw when she left and Eli watched her smile warmly to him as she walked away.  
  
  
  
THE END 


End file.
